


The Tenth Yard

by bitemyshinyredtender



Category: Thomas the Tank Engine & Friends, Thomas the Tank Engine - All Media Types
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-11
Updated: 2018-12-03
Packaged: 2019-06-25 14:33:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 21,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15642711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bitemyshinyredtender/pseuds/bitemyshinyredtender
Summary: Sequel to 'The Whole Nine Yards'Henry and Edward are enjoying life after graduation, but that doesn't mean their lives aren't still just as crazy. Between secret jobs, scandals, and life changing decisions, life doesn't ever seem to slow down.





	1. Chapter 1

Henry yawned and pressed his face into his pillow, ignoring the furious beeping of his alarm. He could hear Gordon still snoring in the next room, and he smiled to himself. He and Gordon had been living together for a couple months now and their relationship had never been stronger. Henry lazilly dragged himself out of bed and snuck down the hallway to Gordon’s room. He quietly pushed the door open and chuckled when he saw Gordon still very much asleep, blankets piled on top of himself. Henry tiptoed over and gave him a gentle kiss on the cheek. “Morning, sleepyhead,” He whispered as Gordon stirred. “I’ve gotta head out soon, those flowers won’t sell themselves. Are you working at the club tonight?”

A mumbled ‘yes’ came from somewhere amongst the covers.

Henry giggled, “Well then I guess I’ll see you when you get back then.”

-

Henry enjoyed working the morning shifts. He could see the sunrise through the large window on the front of the shop, and the water droplets sprinkled across the flower petals sparkled in the morning light. Even though Henry enjoyed the shifts he got to spend with his coworker, Emily, he also appreciated the times he worked alone. The lazy morning routine relaxed him.

Working at the flower shop was by far Henry’s favorite job yet. He had yet to deal with someone who wasn’t in a good mood buying flowers.

Much better than his night job…

-

Gordon didn’t fall asleep again after Henry left, he laid there dreading the moment he had to get up. Even though he didn’t have to be at the club for a few more hours, he still hated the thought of having to go back there again. Being a bouncer wasn’t usually difficult, but he had no patience for kids who thought they were so smart with their painfully obvious fake IDs. He was thankful he never had to go inside the club and deal with the copious amounts of intoxicated people, but turning people away outside, he guessed, was just as annoying.

Gordon groaned as he pulled himself out of bed, trudging down the hallway towards the coffee- the kitchen. Something on the kitchen counter caught his eye; a single red carnation. Gordon smiled, wondering how Henry had managed to leave him a flower every morning for the past two months without abusing his employee discount. He picked it up and took it back to his room, sticking it in the vase to join the rest.

-

Edward was awoken by a tickling sensation on his neck. He chuckled, pushing James away lazily, “It isn’t even noon yet and here you are about to give me a hickey.”

James smirked, “Don’t give me any ideas, Edward. There’s a lot I’m going to do to you…”

“Not with that morning breath, you won’t.”

James made an exaggerated shocked expression, “Is this how you treat your guests? My word, such ill manners!” James’ was cut short by the pillow Edward threw at him.

“Speaking of guests,” Edward cocked his eyebrow, “I don’t think you’ve realized just how much time you spend here rather than in your own apartment. You’re paying money for a place you hardly even live in.”

James pouted, “I just want to spend time with my handsome stud, is that too much to ask?” James ignored Edward’s eye roll and continued, “Edward, I live with Scottish twins. It was fun for the first two weeks, but one can only listen to them yell at each other in Gaelic for so long before losing their last remaining shred of sanity.”

Edward gave James a look of pity, “So you’ve told me, repeatedly…” He pulled James in close, wrapping his arms around him and planting a kiss on his messy red hair. “I just don’t think you should be wasting your money like that.”

“Whatever,” James’ voice was muffled by Edward’s chest. “Speaking of which-”

“James sit up, I can’t hear you.”

With a huff James pushed himself up so he was propped up on his elbows, “Speaking of Scottish twins, their birthday is coming up and they’ve invited us to celebrate with them.”

“Us?”

“Yeah, us,” James gave Edward a playful poke on the nose. “They said they wanted to see the face belonging to the name I cry out when I touch myself-”

_“Please tell me you’re joking.”_

James said nothing, grinning deviously and snuggling back into Edward’s chest.


	2. Chapter 2

Wednesday mornings usually weren’t particularly busy for Henry, nobody buys flowers at such an odd time. His boss was merciful and allowed employees to be on their phone when things became slow, and Henry was grateful. Today he was keeping himself busy messaging James about the twins’ birthday.

’So where are they celebrating?’

_’The cabaret club downtown, I think it’s called Callan’s Castle?’_

Henry’s heart dropped, ‘Any particular reason they chose there?’

_’Lol, they probably wanna see if they can get lucky with a performer’_

Henry sighed.

_’Doesn’t Gordon work there as a bouncer?_

‘Yes’

Henry groaned, faceplanting on the counter. Of all the bars and clubs they could’ve picked, of course they had to pick Callan’s Castle.

He clocked out on break and headed out back to make a quick phone call. “Hey, Mr. Callan? It’s Henry-”

_”Henry, baby, how’s it going sugar?”_

“I’m fine, I just- I’d like to request Friday off, if that’s possible.”

Henry winced as Mr. Callan laughed sharply _”Oh sweetheart, Friday is the one day I can’t let you off. Nearly all of my performers already asked off for Friday, so we’re already super understaffed as it is. I’m sorry, sugar. You know I’d normally move heaven and earth for my favorite dancer, but I just can’t this time. I’ll put you down as a server that night, how’s that sound?”_

“That’s fine,” Henry sighed, “I guess Friday’s just going to be… very awkward for me.”

-

“Oi, James! Hurry yourself up, we haven’t got all night!” Donald shouted. He and Douglas stood by the door waiting for James to pick a jacket.

“Yeah yeah, I just can’t decide between black or red…”

“Black,” the twins said in unison.

James frowned, “But I like the red one…”

“Oh for fuck’s sake James,” Donald groaned, “if you don’t get your skinny arse over here I’m goin’ to kick it all the way tae fuckin’ Jupiter.”

“He’s not jokin’ Jimmy,” Douglas chuckled, “Ah’d get a move on if I was you.”

The black jacket was thrown across the room as James pulled on the red one. “All right, fine, I’m coming…” James huffed and grabbed his keys, following the twins outside.

The three met up with Edward, who was already waiting for them and looking very uncomfortable. Donald chuckled, “Lookit this lad here, looks as if he’s never gone tae the dancin’ in his life!”

Edward blushed and James and Douglas laughed, “Well I haven’t, I don’t usually frequent places like… this.”

“That’s a sin,” Douglas smirked.

James put his arm around Edward’s shoulder, “Aw come on, you say that like this place will give you Herpes from looking at it funny. Nobody’s going to be taking their clothes off tonight.” James snickered as he followed the twins, pulling Edward along with him, “That only happens on Saturday nights.”

Edward was relieved to find that James was right, Callan’s Castle was fairly tame in terms of the entertainment. Some of the servers encouraged patrons to put their tips in some fairly… suggestive places, but other than that, nothing too scandalous.

Donald and Douglas were still laughing at the look they had received from Gordon, who happened to be working tonight, much to Edward’s embarrassment. “So,” Edward said as he sipped on his Wellsworth Cocktail, “I’m assuming you both are turning 21?”

The twins nodded eagerly, clinking their beer mugs together before each taking a long swig.

Edward laughed, turning to look at James, “Enjoying your virgin strawberry daiquiri?” Edward teased.

James shot him a glare.

Donald leaned back lazily, scanning the room, “Looks like they’re lackin’ staff tonight Dougie, we’ve got slim pickins.”

“Damn,” Douglas huffed, “maybe there’s a dancer that we can catch their fancy.”

Edward cocked an eyebrow, “So, how does this place work, exactly?”

James set down his drink, giving it a scornful look, “It’s like a strip club except the clothes stay on.”

“So the exact opposite of a strip club.”

“No,” James rolled his eyes, “the goal is still to appeal to horny customers but the rule is that you can’t get naked. Servers flirt with you and make you slip your money down their shirts and stuff like that, and whoever is performing tries to make everyone wet to get better tips.”

Edward’s nose scrunched up in disgust, “Classy, James.”

“Hey, it’s true!” James shrugged, “I have mad respect for anyone working here. It’s like working at a strip club but on expert mode, since you can’t show your junk.”

Douglas nodded in agreement, “He’s got the right idea. We come here for a bit of fun every weekend, seein’ which one of us can snag more numbers from the servers.”

“Aye,” Donald smirked, “but everyone knows that the real challenge is the performers. Hard to get one of them tae talk, let alone give out their digits.” He took another swig of beer, smiling smugly, “Not to brag, but I got one to chum me back home. Beautiful lad, name was Duck...”

Douglas rolled his eyes, “Aye, yous two were doggin’ all night. Had me banished outside ‘til nearly sunrise.”

Edward chuckled, “Well, everyone has their kicks, I suppose. I personally can’t imagine anyone working here could possibly be good company.”

James and the twins ‘aww’d in sarcastic disappointment. James gave Edward a playful shove “Don’t be such a prude, old man!”

“I’m not a prude! I just can’t imagine why someone would want to work in a place like this, surrounding themselves with customers who do nothing but leer at them. I feel sorry for them, really, I can only imagine-” Edward was cut off by James nearly choking on his drink. “James, what’s the matter with you?!”

James’ was staring bug-eyed at something across the room. He said nothing, gesturing furiously for Edward to look. When Edward turned around, he nearly fell out of his chair.

There, about three tables away from them, stood Henry, with a gaggle of drunk girls slipping dollar bills into the waistband of his small, spandex shorts.

“Edward, please tell me that our server accidentally gave me a regular drink instead of a virgin,” James wheezed.

“What’re you two goin’ on about?” Donald asked impatiently, “What’ve we missed?”

Edward didn’t hear them, too busy struggling to believe what he was seeing.

James turned to the twins, sputtering in disbelief, “That’s- that guy over there, the one in the,” James snickered, “sequin shorts? That’s Edward’s friend, and he’s not- he’s the last guy you’d expect to see here.” James was struggling not to laugh now.

Edward was speechless. He continued watching as Henry playfully flirted with the girls as he refilled their glasses, making them all giggle in unison. As if sensing he was being watched, Henry looked up and made eye contact with Edward, who quickly turned back around.

James hollered with laughter when he saw Edward’s face. “Oh man,” he wheezed, “holy shit, your face, dude!”

“Aye,” chimed in Douglas, “Lookin’ a bit peely wally in the face, lad.”

James groaned, “For the last time, you two, _nobody can understand you when you say shit like that_ -”

“Please don’t tell Gordon!” Came a sudden voice behind Edward, making him jump in surprise. He whipped around and saw Henry standing there, a cross between guilty and embarrassed look on his face.

Edward took a moment to respond. “I- of course I won’t tell him, what makes you- wait, he doesn’t know already? Doesn’t he work here??” Edward stammered nervously.

Henry fidgeted with the hem of his shorts, “I… haven’t told him yet. He hates this places and always makes fun of the people who come here. He’s definitely going to roast you all tonight when he comes home. Just saying.”

“Great…” Edward groaned.

“Well,” James snickered, “this explains why you had to take a raincheck for tonight.”

Henry blushed as Donald and Douglas flirtatiously waved at him, “Oh, yes, I’m sorry. Happy birthday you two.”

Donald beckoned Henry over with a wave of his hand, “Oi, here, a wee somethin’ for all the trouble we’ve caused you tonight.”

With a sigh, Henry walked over. He giggled awkwardly as Donald stuffed cash snugly in waistband of his shorts, forcing an appreciative smile. He glared at James when the redhead snorted. “Well,” Henry grumbled, “my shift is almost over anyway. I have to get home before Gordon does so I can wash up and change.”

“Um, Henry,” Edward’s voice became quiet, barely audible above the music and chatter, “are you sure it’s a good idea to keep this from Gordon?”

Henry cocked his head, “What do you mean?”

“I don’t know, it’s just… this seems like something Gordon should know about. Wouldn’t it be better to tell him now rather than have him find out some other way?”

“Oh, I’m not worried about that,” Henry laughed, “I won’t be working here for much longer anyway. I’m just here for a while to get some extra cash, that’s all.”

Edward bit his lip, giving Henry a nervous look, “Okay then, whatever you say.”

Henry started to reply but a group of men whistled at him from across the room, motioning for him to come to their table. “Ah geez…” Henry grumbled, “I’ll see you guys later!”

Edward watched as Henry walked over to the jeering men, putting on a playful smile as he took their order. He ignored the laughter coming from James and the twins.


	3. Chapter 3

Henry had just come out of the shower when he heard the front door shut. With just a towel around his waist, he walked out to greet Gordon, who looked thoroughly exhausted.

Gordon perked up when he saw Henry, “Well well, now this is a pleasant sight after a long day.”

Henry giggled, “Stop it, you.” He gave Gordon a quick peck on the cheek, “So, anything interesting happen tonight?”

A mischievous grin spread across Gordon’s face, “You’ll never guess who I saw tonight.”

_’Bet,’_ Henry thought. “Oh? Who?” He asked innocently.

“Edward.”

Henry acted surprised, “Really? Just Edward?”

Gordon plopped down on the couch, “No, he was with James and his roommates, but I’m not shocked that I saw James there, honestly.” Gordon suddenly pulled Henry down so he sat on his lap, pressing kisses along his neck, still damp from the shower.

Henry yelped in surprise before erupting into a fit of giggles. He ran a hand through Gordon’s hair, admiring the long, silvery, silky locks. He pulled Gordon gently away from his neck, angling his head up just enough to press a firm kiss to Gordon’s lips.

Gordon gave an appreciative groan, returning the kiss eagerly. His hands wandered across Henry’s back, running over every dip and curve. He let one hand wander teasingly close to the edge of the towel that hung low on Henry’s hips.

Henry’s heart pounded in his chest. He could feel Gordon’s erection stirring to life beneath him. Pulling away, Henry cleared his throat, “I”m- I’d better go get dressed-”

“Henry, wait,” Gordon gently placed a hand on Henry’s arm, silently asking him to stay, “I’m sorry, please don’t go…”

Henry felt a pang in his chest seeing Gordon look so sad, “Don’t be sorry, I’m just…” Henry trailed off. He quickly turned and walked back into his room.

-

Henry was busy the next day, a large order had been placed and he spent the first three hours of his shift arranging large bouquets of lilacs. He was just about finished with the last one when he heard someone walk in.

“Excuse me?” came a small voice.

Henry turned around and saw a child standing at the counter. “Good morning, anything I can do for you?”

“Yes, do you have any tulips?”

Henry smiled, “Of course, any specific color in mind?”

The child looked thoughtful for a moment, “Do you have any yellow ones?”

“We sure do, let me run and get some from the back.”

The child called out a ‘thank you’ as Henry rummaged through the back storage room. When he returned with the flowers, the child grinned. “Oh those are beautiful, they’ll look very nice!”

Henry laughed, “I’m glad you like them. What’s the occasion?”

“Oh, my mom’s in the hospital and her room is just so drab, I figured I’d get some flowers to brighten it up a little. She’ll be in there for a while, so you might be seeing me again for some time,” he said as he counted out his money. He sounded much too nonchalant.

“Oh my, I’m sorry,” Henry said softly. “Would you like a card to go with them?”

“...does it cost extra?”

Normally cards were an added cost, but Henry decided to make an exception. “Not at all,” Henry smiled, “I can write it for you as well, if you’d like.”

The child beamed, “Oh, thank you. Could you put ‘Mom, I know you’re going to show cancer who’s boss!’”

Henry swallowed a lump in his throat as he wrote the words down.

“Love, Thomas.”

-

It had been over a week and Edward still hadn’t spoken to Henry since the incident at the club. He didn’t want things between them to get awkward, so he invited Henry to his apartment to hang out and catch up. The two talked about what happened and ended up laughing about it.

“I hope your job situation is far less complicated than mine is right now,” Henry laughed, taking a sip of tea.

Edward laughed as well, but much more forced. “Yes, well… getting laid off from a job may not be as complicated as keeping one a secret, but-”

Henry froze, staring at Edward with wide eyes, “Oh Edward, don’t tell me…”

Edward nodded solemnly. He took a deep breath, “Yes, the company just downsized massively.”

“When did you-?”

“Last Wednesday was my last day.”

“Edward, I’m so sorry,” Henry said comfortingly. “What are you going to do? Have you found another job?”

Edward scoffed, “Not any good ones. I’ve applied to be a substitute teacher, and that seems to be my only option at this point.”

Henry brightened up, “Hey, that’s not too bad-”

“The pay is awful! I won’t be able to afford rent anymore!”

Henry gave Edward a smug look before taking a sip of tea. “Well, if having a night job wasn’t so beneath you...”

_”You stop that.”_

“Well,” Henry pondered, “there’s another solution. But I don’t know if you’ll like it.”

Edward rolled his eyes, “As if that matters at this point…”

“Invite James to move in with you.”

Edward choked on his tea. “ _What?_ ” He sputtered.

“You heard me,” Henry chuckled, “why don’t you ask James to just move in? That way you two can split the rent. You keep telling me that he’s always here anyway. If you’re so worried that he’s wasting money on an apartment he doesn’t use, ask him to pay for the apartment he _does_ use.”

Edward thought for a moment. “I don’t know,” he groaned, “I don’t want him to think-”

“Edward,” Henry snapped, “James isn’t going to think anything. I’m sure he’d love to live with you! It can’t hurt to ask, can it?”

“I suppose not…” Edward mumbled.

-

That night, Henry lay curled up beside Gordon as they gave each other playful kisses and snuggles. Henry buried his face in Gordon’s chest, feeling the hair scratch his cheeks. He enjoyed the times they could wake up the same time the next morning, allowing them to sleep in the same bed for the night.

“I still can’t believe Edward’s going to be a teacher,” Gordon’s voice was low and gravely from tiredness.

“Substitute teacher,” Henry corrected, “and me too. He worked so hard to find a job that paid a decent salary and let him stay here with James.”

Gordon grunted in agreement, trailing his fingers up and down Henry’s spine.

Henry hummed in content, tracing his fingers along the definition of Gordon’s abdomen, chuckling as the muscles twitched in response. He could feel Gordon’s hand traveling along his back and groaned internally. Gordon only touched Henry’s back this way when he was feeling frisky. Henry hated saying no to him, but each time they’ve tried to progress beyond innocent kisses Henry would start to panic. Gordon was very patient with him, and Henry was immensely grateful, but he knew Gordon would soon get tired of Henry’s hesitance.

Sure enough, Gordon soon rolled over so Henry was beneath him. He began trailing his hand down Henry’s boxers to gently cup his ass as he gave his neck tender kisses. Henry tried to keep himself calm, but with each passing moment came more unpleasant memories resurfacing. No matter how gentle and loving Gordon was, Henry still couldn’t shake the panic that rose up inside him. “Gordon…” Henry’s voice was barely above a whisper.

Gordon’s head snapped up to look Henry in the eyes, “Everything okay?”

Henry shook his head.

With a sigh, Gordon rolled back over so he lay beside Henry.

“I’m so sorry,” Henry pleaded. “I really wish-”

“I’m not him, you know.”

“...pardon?”

Gordon huffed, staring straight ahead, “I’m not going to hurt you like he did. I would _never_ do that to you.”

“I… I know, Gordon.”

Gordon turned to look at Henry, “Then why do you treat me like I would?”

Henry’s eyebrows furrowed, “Treat you like-?”

“Look, I understand that you’re still shaken up over what happened to you, but you can’t let it control you like this.”

Henry swallowed the lump in his throat. What was Gordon trying to say? He could feel his heart rate increasing rapidly as Gordon continued.

“Henry, biology aside, do you know how frustrating it is to try and show someone how much they mean to you and they literally push you away? It hurts.”

Henry’s expression grew cold, “Oh, it hurts, does it? Gee, I have _no idea_ what being hurt is like, please, tell me more.”

“It does!” Gordon scowled, “What would you do if I suddenly decided to turn you down any time you tried to give me any affection?”

“I’d respect the fact that you’re saying no and find another way to show you that I care about you.”

Gordon scoffed.

“Unbelievable,” Henry threw back the covers and stormed out of the room.

Gordon followed him. “You can’t keep living like this, letting what he did make you into this scared shell of who you were.”

Henry whipped around to face Gordon, “Oh, like you know anything about who I was before I met him. As if you even cared about me at all before I met him, you were nothing but an asshole to me!”

“I wasn’t- that’s not true! I just-” Gordon stammered.

“Shut up, just shut up!” Henry shouted, “You never believe me when I tell you you’re doing something that hurts me! Why can’t you listen to a single thing I say without thinking I’m attacking you?!”

“I could say the same to you!” Gordon retorted, “Any time I try to show you I care you act like _I’m_ attacking _you_!”

“Then find something else to do if you want to show me you care so much! But if you cared as much as you say you do, you’d _fucking listen to me_ when I tell you ‘no’ and not whine about it to try and make me feel bad!”

Gordon took a ragged breath, “Henry, don’t do this to me-”

“Do what?!” Henry fumed, “Make you realize what an _asshole_ you’re being?!”

Suddenly Gordon grasped Henry by the shoulders. “Henry, what the fuck has gotten into you?” he shouted, “All I’ve ever done was try to make you happy, why are you acting like this?!

Henry’s face went pale, his eyes wide in fear. “Please don’t hurt me,” He whimpered.

“For fuck’s sake, Henry, I’m not him! I’m not going to hurt you!” Gordon reached down to take Henry’s hands in his.

As soon as he felt Gordon touch his wrists, something snapped inside Henry. Instinct took over, and without thinking he shoved Gordon away with all of his strength.

Gordon stumbled back for a moment before regaining his balance. He said nothing, just stared at Henry, who was watching him with tears in his eyes.

Without a word, Henry turned and fled the apartment.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I highly suggest watching Emma Stone's performance of Don't Tell Mama from Cabaret, since that was the inspiration for this scene. Plus it's just, like, really good.

Edward was surprised to hear frantic knocking on his door at this hour. He opened it, and his heart sank when he saw Henry, standing there with tears running down his face. Edward led him inside and sat down with him on the couch.

“If Gordon hurt you I’ll wreck his shit,” Edward deadpanned.

Henry shook his head. “No, I-” he hiccupped, “I just…”

Edward rubbed soothing circles on his shoulders, “Hey, it’s okay, you don’t have to tell me. I’m just glad you’re okay. Do you need to spend the night?”

Henry nodded, “I’m so sorry-”

“Don’t,” Edward chided gently. “I wouldn’t have let you leave until I knew you were okay, so you’d be stuck here anyway.”

Henry laughed weakly, wiping his eyes.

Edward had left to grab some pillows and blankets when James came strolling out of the shower. “Oh Edward,” James purred, “I hope you’re prepared for a night of-” James stopped and screamed when he realized it was Henry sitting on the couch. The two gave each other awkward greetings before Edward returned.

-

The next morning, Henry’s mood hadn’t improved a bit. He kept replaying the previous night in his head while preparing the day’s flower orders. Thankfully, he was working with Emily today, so chatting with her kept him from thinking about what happened.

That was, until she started noticing something was off.

“All right, Henry,” Emily sighed, “what’s wrong? You don’t seem right this morning.”

Henry bit his lip, looking down at the bouquet in front of him. “I… had a fight with my boyfriend last night.”

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that, is everything all right?” Emily chuckled, “Listen to me, of course everything isn’t all right…”

Henry laughed weakly, “No, I appreciate you asking… Honestly, I don’t know. Things got pretty escalated and…” Henry sighed, “I pushed him away from me. He looked so hurt…”

“Well did he do somethin’ to deserve being pushed?”

“Not really, I was just feeling scared in the moment-”

“Not that I’m an expert or anything, but sounds to me like he deserved it, scarin’ you like that.”

Henry shook his head, “No, it wasn’t his fault, I’ve just, ah, had some bad experiences in the past with... it was just sort of an instinct. And after he kept going on about how he would never hurt me, too. I feel terrible...”

Emily smiled, “I’ve been there. Mavis and I have had those sorts of arguments. She’s had some bad experiences too. I’ve had to be really careful not to upset her, and it’s caused some tension at times.”

Henry looked up as Emily continued, “I can tell you one thing, it’s not a good feeling, seeing someone you love in such a state and knowing there’s nothing you can do.”

Henry snorted, “But there _is_ something you can do, just listen to them when they say no…”

“Oh, I know that, but I’m talking about being helpless to make them feel better. Sometimes you just have to let them overcome those feelings themselves, and it’s hard, when all you want to do is help them.”

Henry was silent. He hadn’t thought about how helpless Gordon must’ve felt.

“But,” Emily went on, “to your credit, respecting ‘no’ is the most important thing. Sounds like your man hasn’t quite figured that out.”

“No, he hasn’t,” Henry snapped.

Emily laughed, “Well, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t care about you. Some people struggle finding new ways of showing affection. I think you two should sit down and come up with some ideas. Give him a list of stuff you’re always down for, that way he has it all laid out for him.”

“That sounds like a good idea,” Henry mused, “only now the problem is getting him to talk to me.”

“He won’t talk to you?”

“He hasn’t called me even once since the fight.”

Emily rolled her eyes, “Men…”

Henry cocked an eyebrow.

“He’s not calling because he thinks you don’t want him to! You, quite literally, pushed him away, and then you left! Why would he keep pestering you with phone calls when he thinks you want to be left alone?”

Henry bit his lip, feeling quite foolish.

“You,” Emily poked Henry’s chest, “have to be the one to reach out to him.”

Henry huffed, “I don’t know if I can…”

“Relax, no rush. It’s whenever you feel comfortable. Besides, you-” Emily was cut off by the sound of the door opening.

Henry smiled when he saw that it was Thomas. “Hello again, back for more flowers?”

“Yes sir,” Thomas said cheerily, “got any more yellow tulips?”

Henry nodded as Emily walked into the back to retrieve them. “Of course,” said Henry, “would you like a card as well?”

Thomas smiled as Emily came out with the flowers, “No thank you, I won’t be needing it this time. They’re for her funeral.”

The room went silent. Henry’s smile quickly faded. Emily stood in shock of how unconcerned Thomas sounded. “Oh,” she said, “I’m so sorry.”

Thomas smiled, “That’s okay, they’ll still look pretty without the card.”

Henry and Emily were somber as Thomas paid and left, giving them a cheerful wave on his way out.

-

A few days passed, and Henry had yet to reach out to Gordon. Each time he tried, he couldn’t help feeling like Gordon didn’t want to talk to him, so he always chickened out.

He dreaded having to go to work that night. The last thing he wanted to do was put on a fake smile and flirt with strangers for their money. He snuck in through the back and headed to the changing room. Thankfully, there were plenty of performers scheduled tonight, so Henry guessed he’d only have to go out there once, he could spend the rest of the night as a server and get away with being in a bit of a sour mood; some customers liked the ‘cheeky’ ones.

Henry was just picking out his outfit for the night when Mr. Callan waltzed in. “Good evening, lovelies,” He exclaimed joyfully, “here’s the lineup for tonight: Duck, you’re going out first to do ‘Candyman.’ Daisy, you’re next with the Jessica Rabbit routine, followed by Ryan’s ‘South Pacific’ act, and then Henry, I’ve got you scheduled last doing ‘Don’t Tell Mama.’”

“Ooh, _Cabaret_ , I like it,” Duck crooned.

Mr. Callan clapped in excitement, “You all are going to just kill it tonight, it’s a full house, but no pressure,” Mr. Callan cackled.

Henry sighed in relief, if any of the acts before him got an encore, he wouldn’t have to go on tonight.

However, as the night went on, not a single act received an encore. Soon it was time for Henry to go on.

-

Gordon was relieved when Mr. Callan came outside to tell him they were closing the doors due to full capacity. This gave him a chance to go inside and take a break. Ignoring the angry complaints from the rest of the people still in line, Gordon slipped inside, standing against the back wall. Gordon groaned as the MC came on stage to announce the next performer, but he quickly perked up when he heard a familiar voice.

_Mama,_

_Thinks I’m living in a convent,_

_A secluded little convent,_

_In the southern part of France._

Gordon’s jaw nearly dropped when he saw Henry up on stage, costumed in frills and glitter

_Mama,_

_Doesn’t even have an inkling,_

_That I’m working in a nightclub,_

_In a pair of lacy pants._

Gordon was mesmerized by how comfortable Henry looked on stage. How long had he been doing this?

_So please, sir,_

_If you run into my mama,_

_Don’t reveal my indiscretion,_

_Give a working boy a chance,_

Stunned, Gordon watched as Henry sang and danced, occasionally leaning down to let someone slip him some cash, giving them a wink or blowing a kiss. Gordon had never seen Henry so outgoing. He was usually so shy and reserved, it was as if Gordon was watching a completely different person. But he knew it was Henry up on stage.

When he was finished, Gordon weaved through the crowd to get to the backstage entrance. He flashed his pass at the guard, who nodded and let him in. Gordon scanned the hallway for any sign of where Henry could’ve gone. He searched around until he found an open door. Inside, Henry sat in front of a mirror, scrubbing the last bits of stage makeup off of his face.

“Nice shorts,” said Gordon.

Henry screamed and jumped up, before realizing it was Gordon. He said nothing, walking over to the clothing rack to change. “Go ahead, yuk it up. See if I care.”

Gordon frowned, “The first time we’ve spoken in days and this is how you act?”

“Oh don’t even start,” Henry snorted, “you had almost a week to call me and you didn’t. Instead, you decide to humiliate me-”

“ _Humiliate_ you?”

“Laugh at my shorts, and what’s more, you-”

“Henry, why didn’t you tell me you were working here?”

Henry didn’t answer, his back to Gordon as he pulled his clothes off the rack. “Get out, I’m changing.”

Gordon put his hands up in defeat and backed out of the room. Henry slammed the door, re-opening it a minute later, still not answering him. Gordon sighed, “So?”

“So what?” Henry snapped.

“So, why did you keep this a secret?”

Henry huffed, “Gee, I don’t know, maybe because it’s fucking humiliating?”

“Humiliating?” Gordon repeated.

“Yes, humiliating. I go to school for four years to study performing arts, and here I am dancing in my underwear for money.”

“You weren’t in your underwear-”

“You came on a good night,” Henry rolled his eyes.

“Well, regardless, I can’t believe you never told me about this.”

“Oh, did it hurt you?” Henry said sarcastically

“Hey,” Gordon snapped, “maybe it did! I don’t like the thought of you being around-”

“All right, that’s enough.” Henry crossed his arms in defiance, “I don’t care what you think, I’m doing what I have to do to make a living. I don’t need your approval. If it bothers you that much then I guess you’re just going to have to deal with it.”

“Oh for christ’s sake,” Gordon sighed, “Henry, I’m not saying you need my approval to do this, I’m saying that I’m worried about you. I’ve seen some of the people who come in here, and I’ve seen some of the people who get dragged out of here by police. Someone could hurt you, and I’d be crushed if that happened while I was standing right outside.”

Henry’s expression softened and he slowly uncrossed his arms.

Gordon continued, “Henry, I’m sorry I was so angry at you the other night. I don’t like that you’re afraid of me, but I’m just trying to help you. I don’t want you to be afraid for the rest of your life.” Gordon’s face turned red, “And, I’m not going to lie, I do want to get more intimate with you. But that’s not important.”

“No, I’m sorry,” Henry’s voice was soft, “I don’t know why I reacted so badly, I know you mean well. I’m just as frustrated as you are. And I never should’ve pushed you…” Henry trailed off as tears welled up in his eyes.

Gordon pulled Henry in and held him close, “Hey, it’s okay, really. I deserved it. I should’ve known better than to grab you like I did.” He pressed a gentle kiss to the top of Henry’s head, lingering for a moment to smell his hair. “Come on, let’s go home. I’ve missed you.”

Henry sniffed, looking up at Gordon, “I missed you too.”

Gordon grinned and scooped Henry up bridal style, carrying him outside. Henry laughed and clung to Gordon for dear life.

-

Edward had just gotten back to his apartment when he saw Gordon carrying Henry down the hall. He smiled, turning to James, “Looks like we have the apartment to ourselves again.”

“Hallelujah,” James cried out. He leaned down and picked Edward up in his arms as well, causing the older man to let out a surprised yelp. James cackled as he carried him inside.


	5. Chapter 5

Gordon never made a big deal about celebrating his birthday, but no matter how many times he made this clear, Henry insisted on making plans. They compromised on having a small party, no more than ten people, to which Henry agreed. He used his employee discount to purchase an enormous bouquet of Gordon’s favorite flower, red carnations. He and James worked all day setting up the apartment for when Gordon came home for the night, Edward stopping by after he finished teaching for the day to help with the last few details.

Henry waited outside for Gordon and smiled when he saw him coming down the hallway. “So, before you go inside, let me give you the schedule.”

“Oh god…” Gordon groaned.

Henry laughed, “I promise you’ll like it! So, I figured we’d start with cake and presents, followed by some drinks, for everyone except James. I guessed watching him suffer would be a nice present.”

“You guessed correctly.”

“Then when it gets dark, we’ll sit on the porch and look at the stars until midnight. That’s when your birthday is officially over and everyone goes home.”

Gordon put a finger to his chin, pretending to think, “Hmm, there seems to be a lack of time for just the two of us. I’m afraid I can’t approve this schedule.”

Henry snickered, “That comes after midnight, silly.”

“Ah, in that case,” Gordon kissed Henry on the forehead, “schedule approved.”

“Oh, and I planned a little surprise…” Henry opened the door and Gordon gasped when he saw Scot standing in the living room.

“Happy birthday, little brother,” Scot winked, pulling Gordon into a firm hug.

The rest of the evening went as planned: Edward teased James as he scowled over his wine glass full of apple juice, Gordon opened presents from everyone (a new watch from Scot, a book from Edward, a tacky tie from James, and a ‘Best Boyfriend’ mug from Henry), then they all talked while they stargazed. Gordon and Scot smiled at each other when a shooting star shot across the sky, and Scot gave Gordon a playful nudge on the shoulder.

Soon, it was midnight, and everyone was starting to head home.

Gordon gave Scot a hug as he was leaving, “How were you able to clear your schedule to come visit?”

Scot laughed, “I always keep my schedule clear for special occasions. I was planning to come down anyway, but Henry called me before I could call you.”

Henry smiled sheepishly as Gordon laughed.

Scot continued, “By the way, have you heard the news about Spencer? He lost his job as the private shuttle for the Duke and Duchess.”

Henry gasped, “Oh no, that’s awful!”

“Oh boy,” Gordon groaned, “how is he doing?”

Scot grimaced.

“Not very good, huh.”

“He just doesn’t know what to do with himself,” Scot sighed. “He’s staying at my place for a while, but I’m going to be leaving for a month soon, so I don’t know where he’s going while I’m gone.”

Gordon stuffed his hands in his pockets, “I’m sure he’ll find someone to sucker into letting him stay with them.”

Scot laughed, “I’m certain of it. I’m glad I got to come and see you two. Take care!”

Henry and Gordon said their goodbyes and closed the door.

“So,” Henry cleared his throat, “I’ve, uh, got another surprise for you.”

Gordon quirked an eyebrow, “Oh?”

Henry nodded, leading Gordon down the hall.

“My room?”

“Yeah,” Henry squeaked. He slowly opened the door to reveal Gordon’s room had been decorated from floor to ceiling with candles and flowers. Henry led Gordon inside and shut the door.

Gordon watched, amused, as Henry stripped down to nothing but blue, silk boxers, Gordon’s favorite color.

“My my,” Gordon chuckled, “what’s all of this?”

Henry pressed his hand to Gordon’s chest and pushed him towards the bed, “I thought about what you said, and I’m tired of being scared. I know I have to get it over with if I want to stop being scared, but I want it to be special. I want to do it now.” Henry began unbuttoning Gordon’s shirt, “

Gordon was speechless. “Henry, I- you don’t- are you sure-?” he babbled.

Henry looked into Gordon’s eyes, “Yes, I’m sure.”

Gordon took Henry’s hands in his own, “If at any point you change your mind…”

“I know,” Henry smiled, leaning in and kissing Gordon passionately.

Gordon’s hands quickly made their way down to Henry’s silk covered ass, massaging it gently. Henry moaned, removing Gordon’s shirt and throwing it on the floor. Gordon sat on the edge of the bed, pulling Henry onto his lap. He tangled his fingers in Henry’s hair, one hand still on Henry’s ass. He slipped it beneath the waistband and deepened the kiss.

Henry reached down and began unbuttoning Gordon’s pants. After struggling for a minute or two, Henry broke the kiss and huffed in frustration. “Help?” He asked softly.

Gordon laughed and lifted Henry off of his lap, urging him to lay down on the bed. He stood and unbuttoned his pants, sliding them down and stepping out of them. “Boxers too?” Gordon asked.

Henry blushed and shrugged, “Doesn’t matter to me.”

“We’ll save that for later, then,” Gordon chuckled and climbed on top of Henry. “You’re pretty cute when you’re flustered.”

Henry swatted Gordon’s arm playfully. “Stop it,” he laughed.

Gordon grinned, leaning down to continue their earlier kiss. He felt Henry’s arms wrap around his torso, pulling him closer. Gordon lowered his hips and pressed his erection into Henry’s, causing them both to groan in unison. Gordon began to grind gently into Henry, peppering his neck and collarbone in kisses.

Henry forced down the familiar panicky feeling he was getting. He focused on Gordon, and the way he was being so gentle and making certain that Henry felt safe. He focused on the way Gordon smelled and the sounds he made that gave Henry butterflies. He focused on the feeling of their bodies pressed together, the electricity shooting through his nerves.

Gordon continue to grind his hips into Henry’s, leaning back to watch Henry’s expression to make sure he was okay. Gordon couldn’t help but smile; Henry’s eyes were shut, his lips parted as soft breaths escaped. Gordon leaned down and kissed them, humming in pleasure when Henry eagerly returned the kiss.

Henry reached down and began to slide Gordon’s boxers down his legs. Gordon sat up and fumbled around, trying to get them all the way off. Henry giggled, and his eyes wandered down to Gordon’s erection. He gauged it’s size, realizing that it was going to be inside of him shortly. He was scared for a moment, but he trusted Gordon to make the process easy.

Once his underwear had been haphazardly discarded to the floor, Gordon crawled back up so he was atop of Henry. Their eyes met, and Gordon held Henry’s chin between his thumb and forefinger. “You’re so pretty,” he said, voice husky with desire.

Henry’s face flushed and he turned his face away, giggling in embarrassment, “Oh hush.”

Gordon peppered Henry’s face with kisses, “Never, I’ll stop saying it when it stops being true, so I’ll keep saying it until the end of time.”

Henry smiled bashfully. It was the tender moments like this, when Gordon let his soft side slip out, that made Henry realize how much Gordon meant to him. He cupped Gordon’s face in his hands, “What did I do to deserve you?”

Gordon chuckled and kissed a trail down Henry’s neck, down to his collarbone, and down further to his stomach. He reached the waistband of Henry’s boxers and slipped his thumbs beneath the elastic. He looked up at Henry, “Is this okay?”

Henry silently nodded.

Gordon tugged them down, the silk gliding across Henry’s legs. They soon joined Gordon’s in a pile on the floor.

Gordon scanned his eyes over Henry’s body, drinking in the sight of him laying naked beneath him. Henry shyly looked to the side, knowing that Gordon was watching him. Gordon’s hands rested on Henry’s hips, caressing the soft curve. “Hey,” he whispered, “are you going to look at me?”

Laughter bubbled up from Henry’s throat, “Stop staring, then.” He squealed in surprise and delight when Gordon dove down and kissed him across his neck and shoulders. “Gordon!” he cried out.

Gordon snuck one hand down to cup Henry’s growing erection. He heard Henry gasp, quickly followed by a low groan. Gordon fondled him while he whispered comforting words in Henry’s ear.

“You’re doing so good, Hen. I’m so proud of you. You’re driving me crazy right now, you’re so damn beautiful.”

Then came the words that made Henry freeze.

“I love you so much.”

Gordon didn’t realize what he had just said until he heard a small gasp from Henry. He leaned back and looked Henry in the eyes. “Oh god, I- uh,” Gordon fumbled over his words. He was silenced by Henry pulling him down and giving him a soft kiss. Their lips lingered so they were almost touching. “I love you too,” Henry whispered.

Gordon had never adored Henry as much as he did in this moment. “Do you think you’re ready for me to prepare you?”

Henry cocked his head, “Prepare me?”

“Yeah, I have to-” Gordon paused, “Wait a minute… have you never been prepped?”

Henry shook his head.

Gordon’s heart sunk. No wonder Henry was sacred of sex, he must’ve been in pain every time he and Dies-

Gordon shook the thought from his head and instead reached toward his nightstand to retrieve a small bottle of lube. “Okay, I’m going to start by inserting one finger, then when you think you’re ready I’ll put in another, then another, and so on,” Gordon explained. He saw Henry nod in understanding and continued, “I don’t think we’ll need more than three fingers. I’m not exactly well-endowed…”

“Thank god,” Henry gave a breathy laugh.

Having coated his fingers in the lubricant, Gordon eased one into Henry, careful to go slow so he could adjust. Surprisingly, Henry didn’t seem too phased. “Can I add another?”

“Yeah, I feel fine.”

“Good,” Gordon sighed. He slipped in a second finger and heard Henry suck in a breath through his teeth. “Everything okay?”

Henry gave a weak ‘Mm-hmm’ and nodded, “It’s just… been a long time.”

Gordon kissed Henry’s forehead in comfort, “Just let me know if you’re ready for a third-”

“Put it in now.”

“...Are you sure?” Gordon sensed that Henry was uncomfortable and he didn’t want to push things too far. He quirked an eyebrow when Henry hesitated to answer. “Henry,” Gordon said sternly, “it’s okay if you need a minute.”

“I’m fine, really, I just…” Henry looked away, embarrassed, “I want you to… to fuck me. Now.”

Gordon’s dick twitched as his heart leapt, “As much as I absolutely love hearing you say that, I think we should wait another minute or two until you’re sure you’re ready.”

“I’m ready. You can do three now.”

Gordon sighed, “If you insist…” He slid the third and final finger in to join the other two, keeping an eye on Henry’s face for any signs of discomfort. Aside from a slight wince due to the initial stretch, Henry seemed perfectly fine. Gordon felt his heart race in anticipation. He wanted nothing more than to make love to Henry, to show how much he loved him.

After about a minute, Henry signaled to Gordon that he was ready. Gordon removed his fingers, wiping the lube off onto the sheets below them, then positioned himself to line his cock up with Henry’s entrance. Gordon looked up at Henry, “If you start feeling uncomfortable just tell me and I’ll stop immediately, okay?”

“Got it.”

Gordon very slowly slid the head of his cock inside Henry, pausing to check Henry’s reaction. Getting the ‘keep going’ nod, Gordon continued. In one smooth motion, he was all the way in. It took every ounce of self control to not start thrusting right then and there.

Henry took slow breaths. He hadn’t felt this familiar full sensation in a while, and it took him a moment to adjust. His eyes never left Gordon’s. Looking into those dark, loving eyes gave Henry a sense of relief; he knew he could be vulnerable around Gordon and still be safe and loved. He pulled Gordon down and pressed their lips together in a tender kiss.

Gordon was ecstatic at Henry’s positive reaction. He could hardly believe this was happening, expecting to wake up any minute now. He returned the kiss with passion. When they both pulled away, Gordon leaned in and whispered to Henry, “You have no idea how much I love you, Henry. I’ve waited for this moment for so long. I just want to make you feel as good as you make me feel.”

“You’re the sweetest,” Henry murmured, kissing Gordon’s on his jaw. “You can move now, by the way.”

Gordon gingerly pulled his hips back slightly, bringing them forward again. He repeated this motion, steadily getting faster. He moaned low in his throat, soaking in the feeling of Henry’s body surrounding him. Gordon propped himself up on his elbows to get a better angle, making it easier for him to pump in and out.

“Faster,” Henry panted. His accent was stronger than usual and Gordon suppressed a chuckle. He increased his pace, as well as the force of his thrusts.

Henry wrapped his arms around Gordon, clutching onto his back. He let out a string of moans as Gordon pounded into his ass. The sensation of Gordon’s powerful thrusts combined with his grip on Henry’s hips was driving Henry crazy. The anxious knots in his stomach were quickly replaced with fiery warmth as each pump of Gordon’s cock lifted Henry higher and higher, closer and closer to orgasm.

Gordon huffed as he kept a steady rhythm. He leaned down and kissed up and down Henry’s chest and shoulders. “Fuck, Henry…” Gordon moaned, “you feel so fucking good…”

“So do you.” Henry ran one hand through Gordon’s hair, the other gripping Gordon’s arm for dear life as his body was overcome with a tingly sensation. “Oh god, oh _fuck_ -” Henry went quiet when he heard a slight chuckle come from Gordon. Confused, Henry ignored it. He sucked in a breath when Gordon gave a particularly hard thrust, “Fuck, Gordon, right there-”

Another snicker from Gordon.

Henry was starting to get irritated. “What?” he snapped.

Gordon looked up at Henry, a guilty look on his face. “Nothing! It’s just-” Gordon tried to control his giggling, “your accent is…” Before he could finish his sentence, Gordon was laughing hysterically, burying his face in Henry’s chest. “I’m sorry,” Gordon’s voice was muffled, “it’s just so much stronger than usual!”

“Oh, and that’s funny to you?”

“Very,” Gordon snorted. “It’s the most adorable sound I’ve ever heard in my entire life.”

Henry swatted Gordon’s arm playfully, “Shut up and fuck me.”

Gordon smirked and sat up on his knees, giving himself a better angle over Henry. He gripped Henry’s hips with both hands. “With pleasure,” he purred.

Henry couldn’t contain the moan that slipped out as Gordon resumed driving his cock in and out of him, slowly building up speed. His head was swirling with feeling he couldn’t begin to describe. He felt Gordon’s thrusts quickly become more erratic, a sign his orgasm was close. Henry wrapped his legs tighter around Gordon’s waist, drawing him in even closer. “You gonna cum?” Henry’s voice was breathy, barely above a whisper.

“Yeah…” Gordon panted. He reached up and pushed hair away from his sweat-dampened forehead. “Can I cum inside you?”

“God, please.” Henry whined.

Gordon felt his lower abdomen doing summersaults as he gave a few final pumps of his dick before he felt his orgasm take over. It took all of Gordon’s remaining strength to keep moving as he shot his seed into Henry.

Henry was overwhelmed with sensation. He could feel Gordon’s cock twitching as it emptied inside him. He felt Gordon’s strong grip on his thighs, keeping them spread open. Soon, Gordon slipped out with a soft grunt.

Before Henry could process what was happening, Gordon leaned down and took his erection into his mouth. Henry cried out in shock and pleasure, gripping Gordon’s hair tightly. Not even two sucks in and Henry’s orgasm ripped through him, cumming down Gordon’s throat, who swallowed eagerly. Henry had never seen anything so erotic in his life.

Exhausted, Gordon finally collapsed next to Henry, pulling him into his arms. Henry snuggled against his chest. Gordon shut his eyes, feeling the post-orgasm sleepiness starting to creep up on him.

They lay together in silence for what felt like hours before Henry finally spoke. “Gordon?”

A grunt in response.

“I know this is a weird time, and it’s going to sound silly, but…” Henry traced small circles on Gordon’s chest with his index finger, “when did you first start to like me? You were so mean to me when we met, and you couldn’t stand me. What changed?”

Gordon opened his eyes, his soft smile fading. “Well, I- You- I never really…” Gordon sighed. “I always liked you, Henry.”

Henry took a moment to process what Gordon said. “But you were such a _dick_.”

“I know, I just… That had never happened to me, seeing someone and being overcome with how… beautiful they looked.” Gordon’s face turned red, “Honestly, I don’t really remember what I said or did, all I remember is that I wanted to see you again.”

Henry snuggled closer to Gordon, flustered. “Aw, you liked me!”

“Yes, we’ve established that.” Gordon rolled his eyes. “Now, my turn. When did _you_ start to like _me_?”

“Oh, uh…” Now Henry’s face turned red. “I… don’t really know? I think I started liking you when we talked that day in the library, when I learned that you weren’t a complete ass and were capable of being nice.” Henry’s voice faltered, “I still feel bad that, you know… Diesel 10 happened-”

“You don’t have to-”

“Yes, I do,” Henry poked Gordon on the tip of the nose. “All that time we spent talking and then I go off with another guy. That was a dick move on my part.”

“No it wasn’t,” Gordon kissed Henry’s forehead.

Henry huffed, “Well, I still feel terrible.”

“You only feel bad because now you know what a charming, sweet, amazing boyfriend I am and you almost missed out.” Gordon teased, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

“Well, you’re not wrong.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for transphobic language

The next week, Henry came home from his morning shift at the flower store and was greeted by a very exasperated Gordon.

“I apologize in advance… He doesn’t have anywhere else to go, and it’s just until New Years. Two weeks, that’s it. He’ll only be here for-”

“Gordon, what are you talking about?” Henry was starting to grow worried, “Who’s here?”

“Spencer.”

Henry’s face lit up, “Oh, your cousin? That’s wonderful! I still haven’t met him yet-”

“That’s because I love you.”

Henry laughed, “Oh stop it. Where is he now?”

As if on cue, Spencer came out from around the corner, with nothing but a towel around his waist and his hair still dripping wet. “Ah, you must be Henry. Thank you for your hospitality, I promise I’ll be out of your hair in no time.”

Henry smiled, “No trouble at all, we’re happy to have you!”

Gordon rolled his eyes, “Spencer, kindly refrain from trailing water everywhere and for the love of god put some clothes on.”

Spencer chuckled sheepishly, “Sorry, I just heard Henry come in and knew I should introduce myself. Didn’t want to be rude.”

“It’s just water, Gordon,” Henry chided, “it’ll dry.”

Gordon grunted and walked away.

“So…” Spencer cleared his throat, attempting to fill in the awkward silence, “how long have you two been seeing each other?”

“Oh, about seven months now.”

“Really?” Spencer quirked an eyebrow, “That long?”

Henry laughed, “I guess it has been a long time-”

“I just haven’t heard Gordon talk about you that much.”

Henry wasn’t sure how to respond. He was sure Spencer hadn’t meant to come off as rude as he had. “Well… I guess there wasn’t much to tell? And you don’t really see each other very often...”

Spencer hummed in thought, “I guess so. Well, I should go get dressed. I won’t make you suffer through having to look at my body any longer,” Spencer winked.

Henry laughed awkwardly.

-

“So...he seems nice.”

Gordon rolled his eyes, though Henry couldn’t tell since Gordon was laying face down on his bed, “Hardly. He can be a real jackass sometimes.”

Henry sat on the edge of the bed, “If he’s so bad then why did you let him stay?”

Gordon rolled over and glared at the ceiling. “I owe him…” he grumbled.

“Well, regardless, try not to be such a sourpuss while he’s here.” Henry checked the time on his phone, “I have to go and help James move his stuff into Edward’s apartment-”

Gordon shot up, looking at Henry with pleading eyes, “Don’t leave me alone with him, _please_!”

“Well, we can’t just leave Spencer by himself, that would be rude.”

“I don’t care.”

“Gordon!” Henry hissed. He thought for a second, “Why don’t you both come with me? I’m sure they’d appreciate the extra help.”

Gordon paused for a moment to think. “Deal,” he snapped.

-

“ _That’s_ Gordon’s cousin?” James smirked, eyeing Spencer up and down from across the room as he lifted a large heavy box. “I don’t see the relation.”

Edward glared at James, “Down, boy.”

“Yes, they’re cousins,” Henry said quietly, “and he’s staying with us for two weeks. Gordon isn’t too happy about it, so do you think you guys could spend a little more time over at our place? He’ll be happier the more friends he has around.”

Edward smiled, “Absolutely.”

James bit his lip, still eyeing Spencer, “Gladly.” He yelped when Edward shoved a box into his arms.

“Make yourself useful,” Edward grumbled.

James batted his eyelashes, “Anything for you, dearest!”

Edward turned to Henry, “So why isn’t Gordon happy with Spencer staying with you guys? Isn’t he the one who invited him?”

“They don’t really get along,” Henry whispered. “But, family is family. Gordon couldn’t exactly say no.”

“Don’t get along? How so?” Edward asked.

Henry gestured for Edward to look across the room. They watched as Gordon struggled to lift one of the biggest boxes, only for Spencer to come along and pluck it off the ground like it was nothing. Gordon fumed, settling for a smaller box. Edward turned to Henry, “I understand now.”

Henry giggled, “Yeah, I think between Spencer and Scot, Gordon has a bit of an inferiority complex.”

Edward nodded in understanding, “Duly noted.”

-

That weekend, everyone was gathered in Henry and Gordon’s apartment. They all (except for James,) had had a few drinks, and a game of pictionary was currently getting a bit heated.

“Edward, you and I both know that I can’t tell what the fuck that is.”

“It’s a traffic light!”

“No it’s not.”

“Yes it is!”

“All right,” Gordon laughed, “James and Edward are forbidden from playing this game ever again. This is going to quickly turn into a shouting match.”

James snorted, “Like you and Spencer get along any better!”

Gordon glared at James. Henry leaned on Gordon’s shoulder, taking another sip of wine, “He’s right, you know.” Spencer and Gordon had gotten a little too competitive, so Henry and Edward strategically manipulated the game so they wouldn’t be up against each other the last few rounds.

Edward exaggeratedly threw his hands up in defeat, “I give up, that’s it! Time to top off my beer.”

Henry watched as Edward got up to go to the kitchen, and his heart stopped when he noticed a dark stain on the back of Edward’s pants. He hoped nobody else had seen it too. As discreetly as possible, Henry followed Edward into the kitchen.

Edward greeted him with a tipsy smile, “Is your glass running low too?”

Henry shook his head and lowered his voice, “Edward, don’t panic, but you’ve got a little, ah, _stain_ , on your-”

Edward appeared to sober up immediately, his face going pale. “Oh god… Of all the times to finally forget about-”

“Hey, don’t worry about it, okay?” Henry whispered. “Listen, there’s some pads and tampons under the sink in the bathroom, run and grab one real quick before it can get any worse. I’ll find you a pair of sweatpants, they’ll be a little big but we don’t have much of a choice.”

“And when someone asks why I suddenly changed pants?!”

Henry thought for a moment, “I’ll tell them we spilled something.”

Edward started to dash off to the bathroom but stopped short, “Why in the world would you guys have pads and tampons?”

Henry smiled, “I figured you might need them sometime.”

-

After Edward was taken care of, the two snuck back into the living room. Spencer quirked an eyebrow at them, “I thought you said you were getting more beer?”

Edward’s face turned red, “Oh, uh, we must’ve forgotten them,” He laughed nervously, “What with the spill and everything it was sort of chaotic in there-”

“I’ll go get them,” Henry quickly went back in the kitchen and rummaged around the refrigerator. He was struggling to pull the pack of beer out from the back when a voice behind him made him jump.

“Need any help?”

Henry gasped, and quickly turned to see Spencer behind him. “Jesus, make a noise or something next time!”

Spencer laughed, “Sorry about that, want me to carry that for you?”

“No thanks, I’ve got it.”

There was an awkward silence as Henry fumbled around to shut the refrigerator door with his foot. Then Spencer spoke, “Is Edward a man or a woman?”

“...pardon?”

“I mean, I know Edward is typically a man’s name, but I know a chick named Tyler so I figured I’d ask-”

“Edward is a man, yes.” Henry hoped this conversation wasn’t going where he thought it was going. However, Spencer pressed on.

“I don’t want to overstep here, but let Edward know that if they need to talk to someone I know an excellent psychiatrist they can go to-”

“He, Spencer, his preferred pronoun is he. And why in the world do you think he needs a psychiatrist?”

Spencer put his hands up defensively, “Hey, don’t get mad at me, I’ve been told that ‘they’ is the politically correct thing to say. Just trying not to offend anyone...”

Henry had to bite his lip to keep quiet. He turned away and looked for the bottle opener.

Spencer continued, “I just think it’s strange, that’s all.”

Henry felt a prickle of offense at the way Spencer had said ‘strange’. “What do you mean?”

“Edward is still a woman, even though he feels like a man. Biology is more important than psychology; a woman is a woman, no matter what they call themselves. Clearly he has a female body, but something’s wrong with his brain and it’s telling him to call himself a man.” Spencer sighed, “It’s harsh, but it’s a fact. So many people suffer from this and it makes me so sad for them. Their lives could be so much easier if they just got some proper help.” Spencer scoffed, “Don’t even get me started on this whole bathroom bill issue…”

Henry slammed down the bottle opener and whipped around. “Spencer, you better listen up and listen tight,” Henry’s was seething with rage but managed to keep his voice down, “I suggest you drop this right now. People who think like you are the reason Edward is in danger every time he goes out in public. You’re entitled to your opinion, but it’s not accepted here. If you so much as look at Edward funny, I’m going to rip you several new assholes. If you can’t respect that, I suggest you find somewhere else to stay.”

Spencer stuttered a reply, but Henry ignored him. He grabbed the beers and stormed back into the living room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really struggled with this chapter because I'm not trans so I have zero experience with transphobia, other than what I've witnessed as a bystander and what my friends have told me. I really hope this came out right.
> 
> Also sorry to all the Spencer fans out there, but somebody had to be the asshole.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is so short, I just felt like I was ignoring Edward and James a bit. Figured I should throw something in the story to let y'all know I haven't forgotten them.

James loved living with Edward, but he was beginning to grow tired of listening to Edward grumble about his long term substitute teacher job almost every morning. From the time he woke up until he walked out the door Edward went on about how much he hated it, how he couldn’t find any other jobs, how it didn’t pay enough… “And these kids… it’s like they’ve never had any sort of discipline in their life!”

James had never seen someone angrily put on a coat, but there Edward was, angrily putting on his coat. “Hey,” James said, “they can’t all be that bad, right?”

“Most of them are,” Edward rummaged through his coat pockets to find his keys, “They whisper to each other while I’m talking, they refuse to do their work, they walk out of the room whenever they please, and they- _for goodness sake where are my damn keys?!_ ”

Edward watched as James walked over and picked up his keys from the kitchen table, dangling them in front of his face sarcastically. Edward snatched them out of his hand, “If you so much as snicker…”

“Wouldn’t dream of it, you’re clearly not in a joking mood.”

Edward rolled his eyes, fiddling with his scarf trying to tie it around his neck. “The good kids are the ones who keep me from quitting. They’re just lovely, I wish all kids were like them.”

“Well, just keep thinking of them every time you get close to quitting,” James chuckled, swatting Edward’s hands away and tying the scarf himself. “What are they like?”

Edward smiled softly, “There’s a little girl named Elizabeth in my history class, she's the best behaved and brightest student in the class. There’s another boy named Roger in my art class who makes the most beautiful drawings, he really inspires the other students to do their best. Jackie is in that class too, she’s so sweet and well mannered, also an excellent artist. They’re all just wonderful.”

James admired the way Edward’s face lit up talking about the kids.

Edward continued, “I know I’m not supposed to play favorites, but I do have one. Thomas, in my geography class. I’ve never seen a kid with so much curiosity and eagerness to learn about the world. He’s easily the student who gives the most effort in the class.” Edward huffed, “I really wish the rest of the kids were like him… it would certainly make my job easier.”

James smirked, “You know, for someone who claims to not be good with kids, you seem pretty fond of them.”

“The well behaved ones, yes.” Edward chuckled, then his smile faltered, “It bothers me, though… Thomas doesn’t have any parents.”

“Wait, what? How is he still in school?”

“He’s staying with a relative, but I’ve been told that after the school year is over he’ll be put up for adoption. Thomas is 12, most people looking to adopt prefer younger children. I’m just worried he’ll be in the system for a long time…”

“I’m sure he’ll be fine.” James nudged Edward towards the door, “Go, or you’ll be late!”

-

All day Edward couldn’t shake the worry that invaded his thoughts. Thomas is a good kid, Edward thought to himself, and deserves a good home.

During lunch Edward sat in the empty classroom grading papers. Never in his life had he been so frustrated. Almost every student had scribbled Fortnite jokes all over their papers instead of answering the questions. Edward groaned, burying his face in his hands. “How can they be so goddam stupid…” he mumbled.

A knock on his door startled him out of his thoughts. He jerked his head up and saw Thomas sheepishly peeking his head in. Edward smiled, “Hello Thomas, can I help you?”

“Yes, I was wondering if- I mean, ah, can I talk to you about the last test? I just can’t seem to keep my european countries straight…”

Edward beckoned for Thomas to come in. This wasn’t the first time the boy had come to Edward for help, and it certainly wouldn’t be the last. Edward grew more fond of him with each visit. “So, what’s troubling you?”

Thomas pulled out some wrinkled papers from his backpack, “It’s all these small countries, I can’t ever remember which is which.”

Edward laughed, and he spent the rest of lunch going over the ones Thomas had missed. Seeing Thomas’ face light up when he finally understood gave Edward a sense of pride. Maybe he could tolerate this job a little while longer...


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for transphobic remarks

Gordon could sense tension between Spencer and Henry, but he was afraid to ask about it. He first noticed it when Henry had returned from the kitchen the previous night, with Spencer sulking behind him. Henry didn’t mention anything about what happened, and Gordon wasn’t sure if this was a good thing or a bad thing. He decided to let it go.

The next week went by without incident, though the atmosphere in the apartment was cold enough for Gordon to practically see his breath. Henry and Spencer didn’t speak a word to each other, actively avoided each other, and all around just ignored the other’s existence. Not that Gordon was complaining, but he was confused.

One afternoon he found Henry in the kitchen peeling vegetables, _’Perfect, he’s always in a good mood when he’s cooking,’_ Gordon thought. “Henry?”

Henry gave a soft ‘hmm’ in response.

 _’...maybe today is an exception.’_ Gordon cleared his throat, “I, uh, just thought I’d ask, is everything... okay? Between you and Spencer, I mean.”

Gordon could see Henry begin to peel more forcefully. “Of course, everything’s fine,” Henry sounded cheery, but he practically spat out the word ‘fine’, “why do you ask?”

With a sigh, Gordon walked in and leaned against the counter beside Henry. Against his better judgement, he continued, “Things have been sort of tense around here since the party. Did something happen?” Gordon’s voice lowered in concern, “Did he… did he do something to you?”

Henry shook his head, irritation clearly etched on his face. “No, I’m perfectly fine,” Henry’s forced-cheerful tone quickly faded, “thankfully, so is Edward.”

“Did he do something to-”

“No, Gordon he didn’t do anything. Physically, everyone is okay.”

“Then what did he-” Gordon flinched when Henry reached for a large knife, but was relieved when it was used on the vegetables, and not him.

Henry angrily sliced as he talked, “Spencer went on one of the most transphobic rants I have ever heard anyone say in person. Sure, I’ve seen some of that shit online, but fuck, I’ve never heard anyone say something so hurtful with such confidence. Stupid, white-haired, sexist, arrogant-”

“Hey, don’t insult all white haired people just because one of us is a prick,” Gordon laughed. A glare from Henry shut him up.

“This isn’t funny!”

“I know, but I just think that-”

“I urge you to carefully think about how you’re going to finish that sentence.”

Gordon put his hands up defensively, “No, nothing, I was just thinking that perhaps- and hear me out now... maybe you’re being a little harsh?” Henry’s silence filled Gordon with nervous uncertainty. He continued, “Look, I don’t agree with what he said, but I mean, at least he didn’t actually do anything, right? If just saying that stuff is the worst thing he does-”

“What if he had said something to Edward? What then? Did you see the way Spencer looked at him when he and James left? I’m surprised he kept his mouth shut, it must’ve taken all of his strength.”

“Oh come on, Henry-”

“Gordon, I don’t want to be around someone like him. Even if he doesn’t hurt a fly, what he thinks isn’t harmless. If people continue to think and talk like that, we won’t make any progress socially when it comes to issues on gender and sexuality.” Henry turned back to the cutting board, angrily shoving the minced veggies into the pot. He continued, “But I’m not here to give a TedTalk on how fucked trans people are in this country. Edward could do that better than I ever could, anyway. My point is that I have nothing to say to Spencer, and the only thing I’d want to hear from him is ‘I’m sorry’ or ‘I’m leaving’ so unless it’s one of those two then he’s smart to keep quiet.”

“Well, don’t get your hopes up. I’ve put up with more than my fair share of his bullshit and I can promise you that an apology is out of the question.”

Henry rolled his eyes, “I figured as much.”

“I’m sorry this happened, I should’ve known having him here would cause problems like this,” Gordon gave Henry a quick kiss on the cheek. “He’s only here for a little more than a week, you can survive until then, right?”

“You should be more worried about Spencer’s survival.”

“I mean, you do have a knife. Several of them.”

Henry teasingly pointed the knife at Gordon, “Yeah, and don’t you forget it!”

“Where is Spencer, anyway?”

Henry was quickly back in his sour mood, “Not a clue, and I don’t care.”

 _’I don’t know what I expected…’_ Gordon thought.

“He better make himself scarce whenever he comes back. I’m having Edward over tonight, he said he has something important to tell me.” Henry was now aggressively stirring the contents of the pot.

Gordon started to gently massage Henry’s shoulders in an attempt to calm him, “I’ll try and find something to do to entertain him tonight. Maybe we’ll see a movie, that way I don’t have to hear him talk…”

Henry smiled, “An excellent idea.”

-

When Edward arrived, Henry led him over to the couch excitedly. “Okay, tell me the big news!” Henry squealed excitedly.

“Well, this isn’t necessarily big news per se, but there’s going to be some changes.”

“Go on…”

“So, this isn’t James idea but I’ve brought it up to him and he seems to agree…”

“Stop teasing me and tell me already!”

Edward chuckled, “Okay, okay! So, I’ve done a lot of thinking lately, and I’ve decided that I want a kid.”

Henry was speechless. Of all the announcements Edward could’ve made, this was the least expected.

Before Henry could respond, Spencer came in, leaning against the wall lazily. “Oh, that’s wonderful! I’ll bet you hope they get your blue eyes,” Spencer laughed loudly.

Edward looked down awkwardly, “Well, actually, we’re thinking of adopting.”

“Really? Why?” There was something in Spencer’s tone that irked Henry. He continued, “Wouldn’t you rather get to look at your children and see their parents’ features? You know, the whole ‘she has your ears’ deal?”

“Well, James and I-”

“Oh, that’s right, you have a boyfriend. My mistake, I totally forgot.” Spencer’s words were unusually kind considering what he had said to Henry at the party. His face split into a shit-eating grin that made Henry’s stomach drop. “But,” Spencer said innocently, “wouldn’t it be just wonderful to have your own? If only there were another way...”

“Spencer,” Henry’s voice was dripping with an unspoken threat. Without finishing his sentence, he had made Spencer go quiet.

Edward felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. Henry had messaged him while Spencer wasn’t looking.

_He knows you’re trans, he’s being an ass about it. If he makes you uncomfortable you can leave._

Spencer scoffed at Henry, “What? I’m just saying that having kids that are your own is a good thing. Don’t get me wrong, adoption is great,” Spencer looked Edward in the eyes, “but if someone has the ability to bring their own child into this world, shouldn’t they do it?”

Edward, stunned, quickly got to his feet, “I’m sorry, I have to go, James needs me. He probably set something on fire.”

Henry gave Edward an apologetic look as he watched him leave. Once Edward was gone, he turned to Spencer. “What the fuck is wrong with you?!”

“What? I was nothing but kind to Edward.”

Henry was fuming. He stood and approached Spencer, poking Spencer’s chest accusingly, “You know exactly what you did, saying all of those things about babies and genetics and-” Henry ran his hand through his hair in frustration, “I gave you a chance, I told you to lay off and you still-” Henry was cut short by Spencer leaning in and kissing him.

Before Henry knew what was happening, Spencer had already pulled away with a chuckle, “That sure shut you up-”

Henry brought his fist up and swung directly at Spencer’s jaw with a loud _krack_ , sending Spencer reeling back. He hit the wall with a grunt, glaring at Henry.

“Spencer,” came a voice from the door. They both turned in shock, neither of them had heard Gordon come in. Spencer hoped Gordon hadn’t heard anything. Henry hoped Gordon had heard everything.

“I think you’d better go now.”

Spencer stuttered in shock, “B-but, Gordon I-”

“Leave. Now.”

Without another word, Spencer stormed off to grab his things and left in a huff.

-

Later on, Henry called Edward and apologized for what had happened. “I should’ve known he’d say something gross…”

_”Don’t worry about it, I only left so I wouldn’t punch him in the face.”_

“Man, you should’ve stayed then, that would’ve made two of us.”

_”...did you actually-?”_

“A story for later. Now, back to what you were telling me earlier… a baby?”

_”Well, maybe not a baby. I don’t think I’m ready for one of those. And I sure as hell know James isn’t ready for a baby. I kind of want to adopt an older kid, one that’s not likely to be adopted by most people. I can’t believe how long some of these kids stay in the system.”_

“Makes sense. How soon do you think you’re going to start looking? Is James on board with this?”

_”I’ve only told him that I want a kid, I didn’t say when or how. I don’t think this is something we can do together.”_

“Wait… what do you mean ‘not something you can do together’?”

_”I think that, when I adopt a child, James won’t be his legal guardian. It’ll just be me. Think about it, having a kid together is more of a commitment than getting married. It doesn’t make sense for us to adopt when we aren’t married.”_

“Makes sense.”

_”So it’ll be like I’m a single parent, essentially.”_

“Edward, are you sure you want to do this? Especially considering your job situation, you barely make enough for you and James to get by.”

_”Oh, I guess I didn’t tell you… James is getting paid to be a cast member in a local musical. ‘The Little Mermaid’ I believe.”_

“Oh my god, that’s amazing!”

_”Yes, he’s over the mood about it. He’s finally getting paid for something he loves doing, and now he can finally pay his share of the rent.”_

“I’m so happy for you guys!”

_”I’m so happy for my wallet…”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought I'd try writing a dialogue-only scene and I thoroughly hate it but I can't bring myself to rewrite it a third time... so if I have to suffer through writing it, you have to suffer through reading it.
> 
> huehuehuehue ( ✧≖ ͜ʖ≖)


	9. Chapter 9

Edward stormed into the kitchen to do what he always did when his dysphoria started to kick in: _drink_. He knew it wasn’t the healthiest way to cope, but it did the trick. He yanked open the refrigerator and prayed he had remembered to stock up last time he went to the store.

James emerged from the bedroom at the sound of Edward angrily muttering and going through the refrigerator. “What’s cooking, good looking?”

Edward didn’t look amused.

“Oh boy,” James groaned, “whose ass do I have to kick? Someone’s got you in a mood.”

Edward cracked open the bottle cap and took a long swig before he answered. “Spencer. But I think Henry will kick his ass before you can get there, so don’t bother.”

James grabbed a can of soda, “What did he say?”

Edward scoffed, looking away, “I told Henry what we talked about yesterday, and Spencer took the opportunity to make comments about… me. My body, specifically, and how I should be having kids instead of adopting.”

“What the fuck?!”

“I know,” Edward rolled his eyes, “I had to get out of there, I couldn’t listen to any more of that shit.”

James moved so he stood beside Edward, their sides pressed together, “Are you okay?”

Edward laughed weakly, “I will be.” He took another swig of beer.

James sipped his soda, pondering silently for a minute. “You know,” he said, “I wouldn’t exactly be opposed to the idea of, you know… having our own kid?”

Edward gave James a puzzled look.

“Not right now, obviously. But in the future if you really wanted one, I’d be cool with it. I mean, I know it’s not my body going through all the weird changes and stuff, so I know I don’t really have a say in-”

“James,” Edward sighed, “that’s… a very complicated thing. Of course I want to have a baby, but… I don’t want to _have_ a baby.”

James stared at Edward, confused.

Edward continued, “I’ve spent years trying to become comfortable in my own body, doing something so… gender-defining won’t exactly help. Plus, what would other people think? I get barely any respect from others on my most masculine days, a baby bump would be like a death wish for me.” Edward laughed, “Why do you think I’ve been so uptight about using proper contraception? The last thing I want is to end up pregnant.”

James nodded in understanding. “Well,” he mused, “you wouldn’t have to keep it, you know. Accidents happen.”

“I may be pro-choice, but that doesn’t mean I could bring myself to make that choice.”

James hummed in agreement. He tapped the top of his soda can in thought, looking over to Edward from the corner of his eye. He cleared his throat, “I don’t think I’d want you to get rid of it either.”

“Why are you so interested in babies all of a sudden?” Edward chuckled. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to continue this conversation.

James sputtered, “I could ask you the same thing, you’re the one who told me you wanted a kid!”

“I want to adopt one, that’s very different than popping one out.”

“Well, why now?”

Edward was quiet for a moment. He actually hadn’t really stopped to wonder why he was suddenly so interested in adopting a child. “Maybe it’s because I’m working around kids now…”

“But,” James said, “you always complain about them. Why would that make you want one?”

Edward shook his head, “I’m not sure.” He finished off his beer and grabbed another, “It doesn’t matter anyways, it’s not like I’m at a place in my life where I could have a child. I’m not ready.”

“Me either,” James said solemnly.

Both of them drank quietly, thinking to themselves, until Edward broke the silence.

“But you know what I _am_ ready for?”  
James blinked, “What?”

Edward grinned, leaning in and kissing James’ neck, who let out a startled giggle.

“You’re drunk,” James laughed.

Edward smirked, “What of it?” He yelped when James picked him up and held him bridal style.

“Mama always taught me it was rude to fiddle with someone when they’re drunk. We’re going to snuggle up and watch Mean Girls.” He carried Edward to the bedroom, “We’ll drink every time someone’s a bitch.”

“Whoo, alcohol poisoning!”

-

That night, Gordon held Henry snug against his chest as they lay on the couch watching TV. He absentmindedly stroked Henry’s hair with one hand, the other wrapped around him tightly. “I still feel awful…”

“Gordon you have one more chance to shut the hell up or else I’m going to bed.”

“I should’ve known he would pull something like that.” Gordon cringed, “I mean, I didn’t know he was that much of a bigot, but I knew he was bad.”

Henry sat up, facing Gordon, “For the last time, what happened wasn’t your fault, so you can stop apologizing. There’s nothing for you to be sorry about.” He laid back down and snuggled closer to Gordon.

“Well…” Gordon mumbled, “you don’t deserve to be treated that way. I’m sorry that happened to you.”

Henry waved his hand dismissively, “Oh, it wasn’t that bad.”

“Maybe, but seeing him talk to you like that… seeing him _kiss_ you…”

“You did look a little red in the face,” Henry giggled. He twirled a lock of Gordon’s silvery hair between his fingers. “I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t a little funny. Because it was.”

Gordon chuckled, “No, seeing you sucker-punch him in the jaw, now _that_ was funny.”

Henry rolled his eyes.

Gordon continued, “This is going to sound very cheesy, but… I think this is one of those moments where I think I love you a little more now.”

“...because I decked your cousin?”

“No-... well, yes, that was surprisingly hot and I may have popped a slight boner, but no. I guess it’s because I never realized how protective I was of you. Seeing you and Spencer, I don’t know, something in me just kind of... clicked. The thought of you being in that kind of situation again makes me feel sick." Gordon leaned down and pressed his forehead to Henry's in a show of affection. His voice was barely a whisper, "I promise to be with you and protect you whenever you need me. I’m serious.”

Henry smiled, giving Gordon a soft kiss on the cheek. “You’re the sweetest.”


	10. Chapter 10

A couple weeks passed, and James was out at the mall with Donald and Douglas. The three were laughing and catching up, and although James would never admit it, he missed the twins. He excitedly told them about the happenings that had occurred since he had moved out. In turn, they told James about their new roommate. He wasn’t sure if he heard them correctly, or if his name really was ‘Duck’... However, they soon had to leave, and James reluctantly said goodbye. Now alone, he decided to window shop a little longer before heading back home.

Not even five minutes had passed before he saw Gordon. James was about to call him over, but stopped when he saw the bags Gordon was holding. Two of them were generic and didn’t have a brand name on them, but the third one had ‘Zales’ printed on the side. A wicked smile spread across James’ face. He snuck up behind Gordon and teased, “Swiggity swag, what’s in the bag?”

Gordon let out a startled yelp, glaring at James. “What are you doing here?” he grumbled.

“I was about to ask you the same thing.” James said with a grin.

Gordon rolled his eyes, “I had a purchase to make. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to get back-”

James stuffed his hands in his pockets and smirked, “What’s your hurry? Got somewhere to be?”

Gordon gave an exasperated sigh, “All right. Since you clearly won’t leave me alone until I tell you… I need to get home before Henry does so he doesn’t see this,” Gordon held up the ‘Zales’ bag, “because I’m... surprising him.”

“What is it?” James asked, half genuinely curious, and half just enjoying watching Gordon squirm uncomfortably.

Gordon’s face went red, “It’s- I’m giving him- what the fuck do you think it is?!”

James’ eyes went wide, “Oh shit, you’re serious.”

“Yes, I’m serious!” Gordon tried his best to keep calm, “Look, you can’t tell anyone about this. I don’t want people to be let down if he says no.”

James linked his arm with Gordon’s and walked towards the mall doors, “Now why would you think he’d say no? You guys already act like you’ve been married for years, might as well put a ring on it and make it official.”

“Well,” Gordon mused, “we haven’t even been dating for a year yet. I’m not asking him tomorrow or anything like that, but I wasn’t planning on waiting too much longer to ask him. I don’t know how to explain it, but the thought of Henry and I getting married soon just feels… right. But I’m scared it’s not the right time.”

“Gordo, I’m going to let you in on a little secret.” James ignored Gordon’s groan at being called ‘Gordo’ and continued, “Personally, I think it’s bullshit to think it’s ‘not the right time’ to do anything in a relationship. If it feels right, go for it.”

“I don’t know…”

“Look, my parents had a shotgun wedding when my dad got my mom pregnant. They had just graduated high school, had only been dating for a few months, but they thought getting married was what they had to do. Both of them wanted to wait, but my grandparents pressured them to get married immediately. Long story short, it didn’t last long. They divorced soon after I was born, and both of them think that if they had waited and gotten married on their own time, maybe things would have worked out.” James forced a laugh, “Basically, don’t let anything or anyone else tell you what you should or shouldn’t do. If you want to marry Henry, go for it.”

Gordon was silent and thought for a moment. “Even still, I don’t know how Henry feels about the idea of getting married.”

“Well, only one way to find out,” James said with a wink.

-

Gordon got back with just enough time to hide the ring in his closet before Henry came home from work, exhausted. Gordon heard Henry flop down on the couch and chuckled. He pulled out his phone and sent a message to Edward, James, and Scot:

_Henry’s birthday is coming up soon and I’ll need as much help as I can get making everything perfect, I’m counting on you all to pitch in._

Gordon smiled when he received positive responses from everyone. He especially hoped Scot could make it; he didn’t want to spoil the surprise for his brother, but he wanted to tell him how important it was for him to be there.

-

Ever since he ran into Gordon at the mall, James hadn’t been able to stop thinking about marriage. At first his mind was preoccupied with the thought of marriage in general, but eventually it spun into marriage to, specifically, Edward. The thought of he and Edward one day being each other’s husbands made James’ face turn red. His first reaction to those thought was to panic, it was too soon to think about marriage! But then he’d remember his words to Gordon. He really was a firm believer in saying ‘fuck it’ when it came to what was considered ‘normal’ timing in a relationship, but it was hard for him to follow his own advice. Before he knew it, he was saving up his money to buy a ring himself. _’It’ll take a while to be able to afford even the cheapest ones,’_ he thought, _’but maybe that’s a good thing. It’ll give us time to think about things first.’_

-

“Okay Thomas, slow down, what seems to be the problem?” Edward said softly, trying to calm the frantic preteen.

“I-I just,” Thomas sniffled, “I think I need t-to talk to someone… Can I talk to you?”

Edward moved out from behind his desk. He pulled out two chairs, wordlessly motioning for Thomas to sit in one.

Thomas sat down and wiped the tears from his eyes. “I…” he sniffed, “I don’t know why, but I just…”

Edward opened his mouth to speak but decided to give Thomas some time.

Thomas wiped his eyes again and steadied his breathing, “Some days are hard. Some days I can’t stop thinking about my parents, and how much I miss them…” Thomas’ voice cracked and he trailed off. He took a deep breath, “My uncle says he can’t take care of me, so he’s sending me away.”

Edward stared at Thomas, speechless.

Once Thomas felt the first tear drip down his face, the rest followed quickly. Thomas bent forward, burying his face in his hands, and he began to cry with a force that made Edward’s heart stop. “I-I don’t w-want to go aw-away!” Thomas cried.

Struggling to stay composed, Edward leaned forward and placed one hand comfortingly on Thomas’ arm. “I don’t know what to tell you, Thomas…” He said softly, “But I do know that you’re going to be okay, no matter what happens. Change can be hard, but when the dust settles everything usually turns out better than you thought it would.”

Thomas hiccupped.

Before Edward realized what he was doing, he pulled Thomas into a hug. He felt Thomas’ arms wrap around him tightly, his face pressed to Edward’s chest. He wondered how long it had been since Thomas was hugged like this…


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not required, but I highly recommend listening to this song while reading: "Reflecting Light" by Sam Phillips

Not one moment after Edward arrived home did he collapse to his knees, a sobbing heap on the floor. He didn’t care if James was home, all he could think about was Thomas, and how utterly heartbroken he had looked at the thought of leaving his home and his friends.

Edward took a ragged breath, wiping his eyes on his sleeve and leaning back against the door. His vision was blurry through his watery eyes as he stared straight ahead, lost in thought. Something in Edward’s heart was whispering to him, telling him that this is the moment he had been waiting for. The words ‘adoption’ and ‘Thomas’ and ‘family’ spun around in his head, but he was scared to piece them together and get attached to the idea. Thomas said his uncle was sending him away, presumably to another guardian, not putting him up for adoption.

But Edward couldn’t shake the feeling that Thomas needed him.

-

“Henry, I already told you it was a party, I think I have the right to surprise you with the location.”

With a dramatic pout, Henry folded his arms. “Mean ol' fatface...”

Gordon laughed, turning the car down an unpaved gravel road. After nearly a month and a half of careful planning and execution, he was excited to see Henry’s reaction when he saw where they were going. James had spent hours that day decorating the large gazebo that sat in the middle of the park, filling it with lights and flowers. Edward had hauled in a large supply of alcohol (and fruit punch for James). Scot and Gordon had given most of the guests a ride to the park, since there were limited parking spaces available. Everything was ready, everyone was waiting, and Gordon’s heart rate hadn’t calmed down for the last hour and a half.

When they arrived, Gordon led Henry through a grove of trees, decorated with lights in Henry’s favorite shade of green and silver. Henry looked around in wonder, “Gordon, how did you have time to do all of this?!”

“I had a little help,” he said as they walked up to the gazebo.

Everyone hugged Henry and gave him their congratulations. Edward handed him a martini, and the party started. Everyone talked, danced, and soon they all sat around and told their own personal stories about Henry.

“I remember when Gordon first told me about you, he rambled on and on about the handsome stranger he bumped into on his way out of class.” Scot laughed as Gordon glared at him, "I was so excited, it seemed like my little brother really was capable of feeling emotional attachments to other people after all!"

"New subject please..." Gordon grumbled

James put his hands over his heart dramatically, "I'm still crushed that Henry hasn't agreed to do a musical with me yet!"

Henry snorted, "If you ever have the unfortunate luck of hearing me sing, you'll retract your offer."

"We'll give you a silent role, then."

The moon was high in the sky when Edward finally called for everyone’s attention. “I think it’s that time of the evening where we embarrass the birthday boy with an extremely personal anecdote and a toast.” Everyone chuckled, and Edward continued, “On a serious note, Henry, you’re easily my best friend in the world. I’m so thankful to have known you for this many birthdays, and I hope to know you for many more. I think everyone will agree when I say that your kindness inspires all of us, and we’re so lucky to have you in our lives.”

Henry held back tears as Edward pulled him into a hug. He whispered for just Edward to hear, “Thank you so much, Edward. You’re going to be an amazing father someday.”

Before Edward could respond, Gordon stood up as well, “I’d also like to say a few words about my boyfriend of almost a year now.”

Gordon took Henry’s hands in his own and pulled him close. “Henry,” Gordon said softly, “You’re my best friend. I love you with all my heart and stand here before all of our friends and family to show them just how much I love you.”

James’ breath hitched, which didn’t go unnoticed by Edward.

Gordon cleared his throat nervously, “I wasn’t planning on falling in love with you so quickly, but then we spent that night stargazing in the cornfield, and… man, I blew it. After that night, after we spent hours just talking and learning about one another, I knew. It was overwhelming, but in a heartbeat, I knew how fortunate I was to see a side of you that nobody else has ever seen before. With that realization, I also knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my life cherishing and protecting that part of you.

“I know it won’t always be easy, we will have bad times together, but the point is that we'll have them together. I know I can handle anything as long as you’re with me. You’re the love of my life. You make me happier than I could ever have imagined, and you’ve made me a better person than I ever thought I could be. I hope that I make you just as happy, and that I can continue to make you happy… forever.”

Henry’s eyes went wide.

Gordon reached into his back pocket, pulling out a little green velvet box, “Henry Stainer…”

James’ grasped Edward’s hand. Scot’s jaw dropped.

“Will you marry me?”

Surprised murmurs filled the air and James gripped Edward’s hand tight. “James,” Edward whispered, “did you know about this?”

James grinned and nodded.

Edward looked over to Scot, who was watching Henry and Gordon, stunned.

Henry’s mouth opened but no sound came out. “Oh… wow, I- oh my god, I-…” Henry made eye contact with Edward, who grinned in excitement. He looked back to Gordon, “Um, I’m just- I’m so, um... _surprised_ , I-... um, would you come talk to me? Outside?”

Gordon nodded, following Henry down the steps towards the trees.

James quickly resumed the music and Edward handed out more drinks to everyone. They exchanged a worried glance, looking over to Scot, who simply shrugged.

Henry stopped when he and Gordon were just past the trees and out of sight. “Sorry about, you know, kind of running away like that, I just wanted to talk away from everybody.”

“Henry, wait a second, before you say no I-”

“Gordon…”

“-need to tell you something else.”

Henry nodded for him to continue.

“I’ve been thinking about this for a while, Henry. I’ve realized that even when things seem chaotic, when life decides to throw us a curveball, I’m okay as long as you’re with me.” Gordon laughed awkwardly, “I’m not trying to guilt you into saying yes, I just… I just thought you should know that this isn’t just a spur of the moment thing. I mean, it is, but not like-”

“Gordon, I understand,” Henry took Gordon’s hands in his, bringing them up and holding them against his chest. He took a deep breath, “But this really did come as a surprise to me. We’ve never even talked about… well, you’ve had so much time to think about this and I, well...”

Gordon smiled sadly, “So you’ve never once thought about getting married?”

“No, I have, but- oh god, this is going to sound awful, but… it was just a fantasy, I never seriously considered it enough to actually… plan for it, you know?”

“I have,” Gordon said softly.

“Gordon,” Henry paused, taking a deep breath, “I love you, you know how much I love you, but-”

James’ words suddenly echoed in Gordon’s mind, “The time is right, Henry.”

Henry blinked, “...wait, what?”

Gordon cupped Henry’s cheek with one hand, “Getting engaged tonight, it just feels… right. I don’t know how to explain it, but it’s like if it doesn’t happen now, it won’t ever happen. I don’t want to lose you, Henry.”

Henry chuckled, “You’re not losing me, I promise.”

“Then let’s get engaged. Let’s get married. Let’s go and move to a little house in the middle of the woods filled with all those dogs you can’t wait to have. Let’s start our future, right here, right now.” Gordon looked pleadingly into Henry’s eyes, waiting for his answer.

Henry took a deep breath.

-

Hours later, nobody had seen or heard from Gordon or Henry. Scot laughed it off, saying that they probably eloped and ran away together.

But when he, Edward and James went back to Edward’s apartment, they found Gordon sitting on the floor in the hallway outside his door. Scot slowly walked over and sat next to Gordon, resting his hand on Gordon’s shoulder. “Everything okay, little brother?” He asked hesitantly.

Gordon looked up, his eyes glossy. “He said no.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact! One of my friends recently got his proposal rejected because Dumbfuck McGee thought it would be a good idea to ask her to marry him when they had never discussed marriage before! Spoiler alert, she wasn't ready for marriage at all. The lesson: life isn't a hollywood movie, children. Talk about these things.


	12. Chapter 12

Edward led them all into his apartment, hoping to console Gordon. By the looks of him, he didn’t want to talk about what happened, but Edward couldn’t bring himself to leave Gordon sitting out there alone.

Scot sat beside Gordon on the couch with his arm draped protectively around his younger brother. James went into the kitchen and made tea for everyone. Edward wasn’t sure what to do, so he stayed standing awkwardly by the door. Nobody knew what to say.

Gordon was the one who broke the silence, in a voice quieter than Edward had ever heard from him, “What did I do wrong?”

“Don’t think about that,” Scot said comfortingly, “you’ll be okay.”

Gordon laughed weakly, “No I won’t.”

“Yes, you will be, I promise. Where, uh,” Scot shot a worried look to Edward, “where did Henry go?” 

Gordon stared at the floor, “He didn’t say where he was going. I know he’s not home, though.”

Nobody said a word.

Taking a deep breath, Scot took Gordon by the arm and led him towards the door. “James, Edward,” Scot said, “Thank you both for your help with tonight. I think I need to speak with my brother alone for a while. I’ll be back to help you put everything away.”

Edward smiled sadly, “Oh, don’t worry about it.” He looked over to James, who was already putting away some boxes in the hall closet, “We’ll manage.”

Scot gave Edward an appreciative nod, then walked out the door, Gordon following. They made the short journey down the hallway to Gordon’s apartment, but Gordon stopped just short of the door. “What’s wrong?” asked Scot.

Memories flooded Gordon’s mind. Memories of Henry laughing excitedly, begging Gordon to tell him where they were going. Memories of coming home from a late night shift at the club to find Henry asleep on the couch after trying to stay up and wait for Gordon to come home. Memories of Henry.

Scot didn’t need an answer to know what was going through his brother’s mind. “You have to go in sometime,” he said quietly.

Gordon gave a sorrowful nod. He walked over, pulled his keys out of his pocket, and unlocked the door. After a moment of hesitation, he pushed the door open slowly.

Scot went in first. He flicked on the light and made his way over to the couch. He sat down, expecting Gordon to be beside him, but was surprised to see him still standing in the doorway. He didn’t say anything.

“It still smells like him...” Gordon said quietly, looking around as if he was taking everything in for the first time.

“Pardon?”

“I can still smell his coconut shampoo, and the pasta he cooked last night.” Gordon laughed weakly, “I never knew our apartment smelled so much like him. It’s like he’s still here, and I know that should make me happy but it-” Gordon’s voice faltered and he trailed off.

Scot sighed in pity, “I think you need to take some time right now to just let everything out. You’ve always been stubborn when it comes to showing your emotional side, but for once, I need you to just let go and, you know…” Scot gestured vaguely.

Gordon sniffed and looked away awkwardly, “I don’t know what you’re talking about-”

“Cry,” Scot said flatly, “trust me.”

Gordon gave him a puzzled look, “What in the world are you-”

Scot cut him off again, “Gordon, I watched you change because of Henry. You took to him instantly, you told me you did. I remember calling you to ask you how your first day of classes went, and all you could talk about was the boy you bumped into that day. From day one you let him into your heart and it _changed_ you. I saw you treat him with such a profound love that I’d never seen from you before, it was obvious to me that you found someone who made you feel things you’ve never felt before. Just because he’s gone, doesn’t mean that those feelings are gone too. The only way those feelings are going to go away is if you let them out.”

“I still don’t understand,” Gordon grumbled.

Scot looked into Gordon’s eyes sternly, “When we lost our family, I had to grow up for both of us. I had to let myself feel everything at once so that I could be the adult you needed. I let all the feelings inside me come out, because I knew that if I didn’t, I’d never be able to move on. Now, I’m asking you to do the same.” Scot took a deep breath, “Gordon, let it out now. Don’t suppress everything you’re feeling, let it out while it’s still fresh and new so you don’t end up falling apart sometime in the future. If you need me to leave, I can leave.”

“No!” Gordon said suddenly, “Don’t go, please…”

Scot sat back down, “Then talk.”

Gordon stared at Scot blankly, “I don’t even know where to begin.”

“Tell me about Henry. Why did you want to marry him, anyway?”

Gordon thought for a moment, staring at his hands folded in his lap. “Because,” he said hesitantly, “everything you just said is true. I’ve never felt about another person the way I felt about Henry. Just looking at him made me feel warm and safe, like no matter what happened, as long as he was there, everything would be okay. I don’t think I can ever-” Gordon’s voice cracked, tears rolling freely down his cheeks. He took a heavy breath and forced himself to continue, “I don’t think I’ll ever love someone like I loved him.” Gordon broke down in tears before he could say anything else.

Scot wrapped his arms protectively around Gordon and held him close. He rested his chin on Gordon’s head and rubbed his back comfortingly as Gordon wept.

“Wow,” Scot whispered, “I’ve never seen you this… broken-hearted, before.”

A few minutes passed and Gordon’s crying had gotten slowly softer and softer, until it was just a steady stream of quiet tears trailing down his face. Scot still held him, reminiscing on the times years ago, when Gordon was still very young, when he held him like this. The familiarity was comforting, but the circumstances made Scot’s blood boil.

“Do you think he’ll come back?” Gordon asked quietly, breaking the silence.

“Gordon, be honest. Even if he does come back, do you really want to spend your life with him? I stood there and watched you pour your heart out to him, and he decided that wasn’t enough. You know I liked Henry from the moment I met him, but this is pretty irredeemable, what he’s done. I can’t forgive him for hurting you like this, and I don’t think you should either.”

Gordon stared solemnly at the floor.

Scot sighed, “Sometimes, people aren’t who you think they are. I think you might have just learned that the hard way.”

-

The next morning, Edward and James both were awake earlier than usual. The events of last night were replaying in each of their minds, keeping them from getting any decent sleep. Neither had said a word since they both woke up, but they knew what the other was thinking.

“It’s my fault,” James said out of nowhere.

Edward stared at him, “What do you mean?”

James sighed, “I saw Gordon the day he bought the ring. He was going on about how he wasn’t sure it was the right time and I told him he should go for it. I told him about my parents. I told him all the bullshit about timing and-”

“James,” Edward said softly, “don’t blame yourself for what happened. Gordon is a pretty headstrong guy, whatever you told him probably didn’t have as much of an affect on him as you think it did. This would’ve happened regardless.”

James pulled Edward in closer to him, “You always know how to make me feel like less of an asshole, Eddie.”

“I can only do so much,” Edward said with a chuckle before James pulled him in for a kiss.

A knock on the front door made them separate, James with an annoyed groan and Edward with a puzzled expression. “It’s not even sunrise yet, who in the world could be…?” Edward mumbled as he rolled out of bed and shuffled lazily down the hallway towards the door, 

He wasn’t prepared to see Henry standing in the doorway.

-

“Pack.”

Edward stood in the doorway and stared at Henry in dumbfounded silence. “Wait, where have you been? It’s been hours, and Gordon’s been looking for y-”

“Get your stuff,” Henry shouldered past Edward into the apartment, throwing his overstuffed backpack down on the couch. “We need to go on that best friends road trip that everyone does before they reach the age of 30. Grab your shit and let’s hit the road!”

“Henry, please, just pause for a second so I can talk to you-”

“I suggest bringing a variety of clothes, I have no idea where we’ll go or what the weather will be like,” Henry pulled a heavy binder out of his backpack, “so it’s better to just be prepared for anything-”

“Henry!” Edward shouted, “You and Gordon are over, right?”

Henry nodded silently, tears rolling down his cheeks.

After a few moments of silence, Edward turned and headed for the hall closet. He reached in and pulled out a large suitcase. “So, where do you want to go? How are we getting there?”

-

Soon a week had passed, and Henry and Edward had traveled all the way to London. Neither of them had been there before, and they spent all their time exploring historic places and popular tourist attractions. Edward put effort into making sure Henry was distracted from what had happened the week prior. He kept in contact with James, who updated Edward on how Gordon was doing. Not much had changed since they left.

They decided to spend one morning drinking coffee in a local diner. They took some time to relax and plan their next few days. Edward also hoped to get some information out of Henry without upsetting him. He knew he had to tread carefully. “So,” Edward began, but stopped when he saw the look Henry was giving him. It said I-know-exactly-what-you’re-doing and Edward felt ashamed.

“You’re not slick, Edward.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

Henry laughed, “If you want me to talk, I’ll talk. Just… don’t expect me to spill everything just yet, okay?”

Edward mentally sighed in relief, “Of course, whatever you’re comfortable talking about is okay.”

With a deep breath, Henry folded his arms and leaned back in his chair, “Okay, what do want to know?”

Edward thought for a moment. “What exactly did you tell Gordon when you said no?”

There was a long pause before Henry finally spoke. “Well…”

-  
_“The time is right, Henry.”_

_Henry blinked, “...wait, what?”_

_Gordon cupped Henry’s cheek with one hand, “Getting engaged tonight, it just feels… right. I don’t know how to explain it, but it’s like if it doesn’t happen now, it won’t ever happen. I don’t want to lose you, Henry.”_

_Henry chuckled, “You’re not losing me, I promise.”_

_“Then let’s get engaged. Let’s get married. Let’s go and move to a little house in the middle of the woods filled with all those dogs you can’t wait to have. Let’s start our future, right here, right now.” Gordon looked pleadingly into Henry’s eyes, waiting for his answer._

_Henry took a deep breath._

_“No.”_

_Gordon felt the word pierce his heart._

_Henry continued, “It’s not that I don’t want to marry you, it’s that I don’t want to marry you right now. We haven’t even been dating for a year, we don’t know each other well enough to get married.”_

_Gordon laughed weakly, “Of course we do, we-”_

_“How many kids do I want to have?”_

_“...huh?”_

_Henry sighed, “What’s my blood type? What medications do I take? What disease runs rampant on my dad’s side of the family that I have a 80% chance of inheriting? What’s the first thing you should do if I tell you I’m about to pass out?”_

_“Why are you-?”_

_“These are the things married people should know, Gordon.”_

_“B-but I- you’ve never even told me- how am I supposed to know any of this unless you tell me?!”_

_Henry took Gordon’s hands in his and spoke softly, “I’m not saying you should have known this now, but this is the stuff you should’ve known before we got engaged. Do you understand where I’m going with this?”_

_“Do you even know that stuff about me?”_

_“No, and that’s part of the problem as well, Gordon. We’re at the right place for people who have been dating for almost a year, not for people about to get married. We’re on the right track, there’s no need to rush things-”_

_“Rush things?” Gordon’s eyes looked sadder than Henry had ever remembered seeing them, before they turned cold. “I know in my heart that I’m ready to spend the rest of my life with you. I figured we may as well start now. I’m sorry you see that as ‘rushing things’ but the way I see it, it’s starting our future.”_

_“Gordon, I didn’t mean-”_

_“Forget it,” Gordon slid his hands out of Henry’s and took a step back, “don’t make this any worse than it already is.”_

_“Gordon, what are you talking about? I just-”_

_“Henry, get real! If we aren’t on the same page then what’s the point?”_

_Henry’s heart thudded anxiously, “What’s the point?! So we’re not on the same page, so what? That’s the point of dating, to get to know each other!”_

_“And am I supposed to sit around and wait on you then, is that it?” Gordon scoffed, “I’m supposed to sit here and twiddle my thumbs until you decide you feel the same way?”_

_“Well, when you put it that way it- No. No, I know exactly what you’re doing, Gordon. You’re putting up this cold front and acting hostile so you can shove your emotions to the side and look tough. I’ve seen you do it, and it’s not going to work on me.”_

_Gordon rolled his eyes, “Oh I see, you know me pretty well, but not well enough to make a commitment.”_

_Henry’s jaw dropped, “This is_ not _a commitment issue, and you know it!”_

_“Then tell me what the problem is!” Gordon tried his best to keep his voice down, hoping the others couldn’t hear what was going on._

_“The problem is…” Henry’s voice grew quiet, “the problem is… I… don’t want to get married now… that’s what this all boils down to.”_

_Gordon was silent as Henry continued._

_“I can’t see myself getting married right now. Whenever I thought about it, marriage was always something that happened once everything else in my life was set. Nothing in my life is set right now. I’m working minimum wage at a floral shop and my night job is at a watered down strip club, I haven’t seen the world that out there, what it offers… I have no idea what direction my life is going in and I’ve barely scraped the surface of discovering myself and what I want and who I want to be. The problem isn’t that I don’t know you,” Henry laughed sarcastically, “The problem is that I don’t know myself.”_

_Gordon’s chest tightened painfully as he realized where Henry was going with this._

_“And I can only think of one way to fix that.”_

-

Edward listened, dumbfounded, as Henry recounted what happened that night. He never imagined Henry and Gordon could have gotten so heated over this. It made sense though, now, why their relationship fell apart so suddenly and completely.

“So yeah,” Henry said, his tone light but the underlying sadness creeping through, “after that Gordon gave me about an hour to get my things from our- his apartment.”

Edward’s heart ached for his friend, “Where did you go that night?”

“Stayed at a hotel,” Henry said over a sip of his coffee, “had myself a good cry before starting on my plans for this trip.”

“Well,” Edward said, taken aback by Henry’s unusual bluntness, “I guess it’s good you… dealt with your emotions…?”

Henry laughed, “I know it sounds weird, but I figured if I didn’t get everything out right then I would just keep it bottled up, and that wouldn’t be good in the long run. I figured it was better to move on quickly.”

“Move on? So you and Gordon are definitely… done?”

Henry solemnly set down his coffee mug, “It seems like it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was this chapter longer? This chapter felt longer. Ah well, consider it an apology gift for being away for so long.


	13. Chapter 13

Circumstances aside, Edward was delighted to be on this trip with Henry. They hadn’t spent this much time together in a while, and it reminded Edward of the days when they first became close. A small part of him longed for those carefree days.

However, the fun came to an end when Edward woke up one morning and vomited for almost an hour. They ended up spending the day in their hotel room, with Henry taking care of Edward and trying to help him pinpoint the illness. The next day, things didn’t look much better. Exhausted, Edward laid slumped against the bathtub, not bothering to move away from the bathroom since he knew it was a matter of minutes before he’d be in there again.

“Henry please, don’t stay here all day, you planned this trip down to the smallest details, I know there’s something you’d rather be doing right now…”

“Nonsense, I couldn’t imagine leaving you alone like this. Besides, I only planned it so carefully because I had time, I don’t care if we stick to the plan or not.” Henry continued reading through the list of illnesses that cause vomiting they found online, “Now, we’ve eliminated acute liver failure, alcohol use disorder, anaphylaxis... anorexia nervosa?"

“Not since high school.”

“You dark, dark man.”

Edward gave a weak chuckle, “Hey, you asked.”

Edward knew he couldn’t keep up with Henry in this state. He knew Henry really wanted to stay busy and distracted, but all Edward wanted to do was curl up and hope he could stop ralphing long enough to sleep. Reluctantly, he and Henry both agreed that it was best for Edward to go home. He felt awful leaving Henry, and insisted he come back with him. “Are you sure you want to keep going by yourself?”

“I think it’ll be good for me, traveling alone for a while,” Henry chuckled, “I need to sort some things out with my life anyway, like figuring out what I want to do and who I want to be. Besides, I really like it here, I don’t think I could leave just yet.”

Edward gave a nervous chuckle, “You are coming back, aren’t you?”

Henry hesitated, before laughing, “Of course I am, don’t be ridiculous.”

Edward’s stomach was in knots. He wasn’t convinced.

-

_“You’ve reached Henry Stainer, sorry I couldn’t answer your call. Leave a message and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can!”_

“Hey, it’s me, Gordon. I, uh… I realize you’re on a trip with Edward so I, uh, don’t expect you to return my call anytime soon, or at all really- anyways, uh, I just wanted to let you know that… I don’t want things between us to be so, uh, distant? I…”

_Message erased._

“Hi, I know you’re away right now so no rush, but I’d like for us to talk things over and-...”

_Message erased._

“...I still love you.”

…

_Message erased._

-

James perked up at the sound of the front door opening, knowing that Edward was finally home. “Edward!” James ran over and greeted him with a grin and a hug, lifting Edward up and spinning a few times before setting him down again. “How was the trip? I thought you guys weren’t going to be back for at least another…” James trailed off when he noticed Edward was looking at the floor, a grim expression on his face, “...something wrong, Ed?”

Edward closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “I’m pregnant.”

-

Henry’s phone vibrated on the nightstand for the third time that evening. He watched it blankly, waiting for the screen to dim and take Gordon’s picture away with it.

Resisting the temptation to answer was getting harder each time.

Henry picked up the phone and dialed.

_“Hello?”_

“...I’m staying in London.”

-

“I’m sorry, are we just going to forget the _monumental news_ you just gave me?!” James shouted.

Edward shushed him, turning his attention back to the phone, “Wait a second, do you mean… permanently?”

_”Yes.”_

Edward gave a ‘hmph’ in disbelief, “Today sure is eventful…”

“It sure is, isn’t it? Now,” James said sarcastically, “ _can we please talk about_ -”

Edward continued, “This decision seems very, what’s the word…?”

_”Impulsive?”_

“Stupid.”

_”Honestly, that’s fair.”_

“So you agree, then. Why are you doing it?”

_”...”_

Edward was beginning to grow impatient, “Henry, I’m going to be honest with you. As much as I care about you, I think you’ve got a lot to work out. Making a decision like this isn’t a good idea right now.”

_”...you’re right.”_

“In addition, I myself have my own issues to sort out,” He gave James, who was gesturing wildly for Edward’s attention, a stern look, “so while I’m always here to help you whenever you need me, I think it would benefit us both to take a step back and work on our own problems before trying to get the other involved. And I mean this in the best way. Please don’t take this as me shutting you out, that’s the last thing I want.”

_”No, absolutely, you’re right. We should just… Listen, I’ll probably have everything worked out soon. You call me when you’re ready.”_

“Sounds like a plan.”

No sooner had Edward said goodbye did James resume his plethora of questions. “How do you know you’re pregnant? When did you know you’re pregnant? What are we going to do now? How long until we-”

“James, please, just sit down before I throw you down.” Edward grumbled as he went to the kitchen.

James went quiet immediately, slowly crossing the room to sit on the couch. His leg bounced nervously as he waited for Edward to return.

Handing James a glass of water, Edward took the other glass and sat down beside James. “Now,” he began calmly, “we’re going to have a lot to talk about, so I say we begin with-”

“When’s the-”

Edward glared at James, “So help me if you say one more word.”

James silently took a sip of water.

“To answer your questions, I took several pregnancy tests, I knew when I got very sick on the trip, and… I don’t know what we’re going to do.”

James listened intently. He tapped his fingernails on the side of the glass in thought. “Maybe,” he mused, “we should start with the obvious.”

Edward nodded, “That’s a very good place to start.”

Neither of them could come up with any ideas. They sat in deafening silence for what felt like an hour, racking their brains.

“Well,” Edward finally spoke, “I know we’ll probably have to find a bigger apartment. I made very good money as a waiter in high school, so maybe I’ll take that as a second job so we can save up, we’ll need money for more than just a place to live-”

“Edward,” James said softly, “I know you wanted to adopt, and I know you had someone specific in mind. What are we going to do about that?”

Edward frowned, “I tried not to think about that…”

“Well, we have to think about it now,” James chuckled. “We have a lot to think about now.”

-

Gordon was glad his job didn’t usually involve much effort. He was never ungrateful for his naturally intimidating aura, since it made this job that much easier. However, sometimes the lack of effort required from him bit him in the rear in the form of ‘More Time to Think’ and that was never good. Tonight, however, he had been introduced to the newly hired bouncer, and was given the task of training her. Normally, Gordon would be irritated at this kind of task, but tonight he was grateful for it.

“So, what made you want this job?” Gordon asked, figuring polite small talk might help fill in any awkward silence between the two.

The new guard gazed up thoughtfully before answering, “I won’t lie, this wasn’t exactly an aspiration of mine. A job is a job. I figured I might as well find one that’s a little exciting.”

Gordon sneered, “If you consider having to throw out drunk assholes exciting, that is.”

“You sound like you’ve been here a long time,” she giggled.

“I guess that thrill is gone for me,” Gordon chuckled in amusement. “What did you say your name was again?”

“Caitlin.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *slides across floor dramatically* So this may be the last chapter for this fic...
> 
> Hear me out. The next chapter comes after a time skip to avoid boring filler, and it seems like this is a good place to end this story so I can start the next. I don't want this fic to have too many chapters. But maybe I'll keep it all in one fic, who knows. I'll roll a dice and see what happens.


End file.
